I yell and I yell
enclosed by the air
and yet I can't feel it.


I want to hurt myself
just so I can feel something
So I try and I try
but not a drop of blood shed.


I shoot and I shoot
I clash my cymbals
I set myself on fire
I bomb the whole **** cloud.

Nothing moves.


I am stuck in an infinite circle of an alternate reality.
Isolated from life.
I sit and sob
in a cloud of white air.

I’ve got problems
I know I do
But I ignore them
Constantly thinking others have it worse
They have it worse
Than the occasional yelling
They have it worse
Than the feeling of being isolated
They have it worse
Than the occasional self-loathing.
I feel like I can’t get help,
Why should I waste anyone's time
With problems that don’t even matter
Compared to others?
Others have abusive parents,
Others are constantly yelled at,
Others are going through so much worse
Than I have ever gone through.
But then why do I feel this way?
Like I have things not resolved,
Like I’m not enough?
Like I feel bad for wanting help?
I can’t help but compare myself to others,
And I can’t help but think I’m insignificant
Compared to everyone
Who has it way worse than I do.

I’ve wronged you too many—
And I’m sorry for it.
I’m young and ignorant,
I hope you’ll understand.
The yelling is in your head—
But I really wasn’t trying to.
I’m very sorry;
The isolation and tormenting
Wasn’t intentional.
The words of hate,
Are just a cover
For my insecurities.
But in all reality,
Just kick me out,
Not of this place—
But of my own head.

i'm not sure why
it's always my fault

but it's okay
you have other issues

i'm just a good friend
that's why you take it out on me

-i need it to stop

I hear the constant yelling
I hear your constant arguments
I hear the fight you have
I hear the insults you yell at each other
When will it stop?
You yell and scream
You pull me into your fights
I see the things being thrown
I hear the demeaning things said
When will they finally concede?
It’s like living with 4 year olds
I can see the redness in their faces
I can hear the raw anger In their voice
I can hear the curses being thrown
I can feel the hatred emanating from their bodies
Do they know how that affects me?
Tensing up whenever they are in the same room
When they leave the room,
The Relief I feel is instant
For then next couple days,
Loud noises scare me
I’m constantly on edge,
Why should the people you love not love each other?
She says that you should just be quiet
He says well look at you
I just try not to cower away