Life is a mystery
Solved by living through each day
Picking and choosing each little thing you do
To hopefully come out the way you dream
Even though oftentimes reality is ugly
So unfair and we yearn for things to stay
Remain and not bid us adieu
Things heat up, water to steam
In the night, people scream
Some with delight, others of fright
Some real, some making a foolish deal

Up is right and down is left
South is east and north is west
Stalking about like a major theft
Doing it's very, very best
Throwing a stone in the lake
But it comes back and in its wake
Rush toward the shore twenty more

None hear the cries of the unsure
But discover the corpses of their mistakes
Pondering what could have happened
When there were witnesses a plenty
All spewing acidic lies to disfigure
The twisted thing they could never cure

Life gives and takes
As an ocean pushes and pulls
Metal above a candle blackened
Polished to be shiny, like new

A mother lulls her child
Tells it to calm, no more to be wild
Look to the sky, as it changes hue
Does that not calm a restless soul?

Rolling clouds, endless expanse that is the sky
Some beg and plea and ask it why
But the answer they seek is not in the great vastness overhead
Or in the miles of earth and life underfoot
It's within oneself, and in those you meet
Find it, and embrace it
Don't stop searching
Especially if you're uncertain what you're searching for.

- Jay M
April 17th, 2020

Sometimes I wonder
if the dollar that paid for my soda
was ever in a strippers underwear.
And then...I wonder
if the cashier is ever thinking the same thing.

i felt like i was in an elevator that was on the eighteenth floor,
but then dropped twenty more down, six feet deeper into the ground,
i was like a white rabbit, frozen in the headlights of a speeding car
with no chance of survival unless i took extreme measures to escape,
i tried and tried to make it out alive but in the end i died
like a train with it's passengers aboard.
that's how i woke up, in a sweat like a river,
for this is a dream i once dreamt,
the horses are coming so you better run if you want to survive
and make it out alive.
there's only one way out and that's to follow Alice.
darling, don't you know?
the good times are over and gone but dream on, dear, dream on,
it's a good feeling, i know.
the cats are out of the bag and the birds are loose,
so the feeling doesn't last long but enjoy it while you can
before our hearts and lungs collide.
the way you put one foot in front of the other and in line with mine
reminded me of when i saw you father and mother dancing one time
because if you think it through too many times,
it becomes a blur of reality and too many breaths.
i'm not calling you a thief, just don't steal from me,
cause i know i'm a decent tailor
from the many times that i've had to mend my heart with patches
of future love.
this old stuffed rabbit that i sleep with,
i've killed it with kisses and drowned it with tears
but it still has no reply to my wonderings.

...the dusty road, wearing a sombrero,
i saw a chained monkey in the middle of
the road...under the heat of the sun,
its eyes seemed numbed, as visitors
gifted it with bananas and other foods...
was the monkey bored?
tired of watching people come and go?
day in, day out?
what if it rains? it has no roof above its head...
where does it sleep?

i wondered why, from the door jamb
where i stood, there exists
another door, smaller upon sight,
and another...and another...and another....
i was accosted by an endless series of doors...
what lies at the end?
is there an end to these succession of doors?
what could be its purpose?
i wondered about that reason....

i wondered...why the pathways
ahead, left side, and right,
involved going high, then low,
so you go up, then down...
you get used to its rhythm,
to the  practice of going up, then down,
holding your breath,
grasping for a post to hold on to,
if and when you lose your balance...
you assume on what is to follow,
you are about to take a step forward
and you'll be surprised....your next step,
...............could be fatal....
you would expect a set of steps going down...
but, there are none...you're inches away
from the end of the ledge.....you stare
at the ground....from where you stand
......there's nothing there
........just an assumed fall..
............if you had been a fool...

these temples, with countless, endless
steps and doors, radiate with wisdom,
offered to us...right in front of our faces..
we just have to be keen...be perceptive...
be able to discover...and learn, before a fall
occurs...

i walked away from these walls and stairs,
tired...sweating...my knees aching......but,
with my wonderings............waning......


Sally

Copyright January 31, 2017
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

Scared of the future
Scared for us, too
Scared of losing you
Scared of leaving you too

I don't know whether to hold on
Or to stay still
To let tears fall
Or to remember what's real

It's like I'm pushed off a cliff
But I never go down
It's like you're holding me
But you're just keeping me out

When I lie awake at night
And the questions start to surface
My heart pounds like a mile race
And yet it calms down at the memory
Of your face

Do you love me
Or do you like my shadow
Do you love me
Or are you leaving tomorrow