Of course I want to see you again,
That's the one thing I want the most.
Even though you recoiled from me, and left me lost.

Them butterflies in my stomach will torture me while I'm thinking on you appearing,
And won't go away even after you're gone.
They'll end up filling me whole.
Then overflow.

I think I can handle them butterflies,
But what I still can't do, is dealing with the thought of you.

Wicked wicked wicked my mind
That feels so unkind
Unkind my thoughts
That damage my heart
Damaged my heart that burns my tongue
Burned my tongue that lashes out
More enemies than friends have made I

How trapped I feel inside
The walls and bonds of your presumption
How evil this mind that sways between hate and devotion

How terrible this burden I must bear
Cast on my shoulder
For a fault not mine
Delving deep on those wounds
Which cruel men with their lust inflicted
Broken the tender bow of my spirit
Set me off on a course of anger
Hatred buried so deep beneath
Seething waiting to explode

But what explodes is not me
It’s the anger and the wrong
That should not have been

Where were u when I was abused?
Where were u when as a doormat I was used?
What is it that now can be done?
To right a wrong
To right a spirit that stands forlorn.

Damaged beyond words am I
Damaged in my thinking
Damaged emotions course through my veins
Burning, scalding, bearing pain.

See that wound, that moment, that started it all
You can see for your eyes behold all.
Robbed of innocence
Trapped in blackmail
Jilted love just for gains

No one saw that person beneath
No one saw that  crushed soul
No one saw that  waif of a girl
Longing, hoping for true love’s gold
Running in directions for a sweet word
Madly following dust for pearls

You saw, u were there
You are here now
To you nothing is hidden
All externals are just veils
Your eyes can rend them all
Your word can heal it all

How hardened am I
Wickedness seeped in every act.
I don’t wanna be like that
I don’t wanna be hated
I don’t want nothing
I want to be free
From this madness overtaking me

Stretch out your hand and calm my soul
Hold my trembling heart in your fold
Show me how things can be right
Only the one who has made me has that sight…

you never cared about me
you never wanted to be mine
you just dug a deep hole
stuck me there with all of your lies
made me feel miserable
unwanted, ugly, and used
can't believe i fell for it
it happens every time
this big heart i have
is nothing but a curse
love ruins my life
and makes me feel like i'm the worst
i can't think straight
funny how i can't even function
shaking uncontrollably
sweating profusely
not one good thought
flows through my head
only thinking that i wish i were dead
you make me feel like death
is the answer to my problems
it may sound dramatic
but i can't even breathe
what is this life
without the one you love
you said you needed me
you said you had love for me
but you treat me like i'm a pest
make me feel like i'm a bother
i'll just leave you be
it's clear i'm not wanted
it's clear you don't give a ****
i wish i could be like you instead
someone cold and wicked

Cold is good

Cold is nice

Cold like winter

Cold like ice

Cold my heart

Cold and blue

Cold my soul

Cold for you

I'm your ice princess

To be one who chooses
Right, not wrong,
To be one who follows no crowd;
For he knows the truth
And prospers long
He sings God's praises aloud.

But oh, to be one
Who evil commits
Just for the sake of fun;
His fate will come
When he does not admit
That he is a wicked one.

Lately I walked deep into a forest near my house,
as I often spend there my afternoons and nights,
thinking about what happened in my life
and which of my available paths should be taken,
to lead me into future.

That's when I encountered a strange message
scratched in the bark of an old oak:
"Dear wanderer, please beware, as your life is on the line.
My wife, a very farseeing woman, went into these woods alone,
against my will, of course, as I have seen the dangers she might face,
Wolfes, inviting her nitty-gritty to a delicious meal,
Bears, rubbing their chubby cheeks at her,
Snakes, weaving wildly around her feet,
but most dangerous of all the whacky wicked witch,
keeping her from ever going back."

I remember sudden feelings of anxiousness and shiver
I had encountered only once before,
that was when a strange man came to my house
asking me if I had seen a pretty woman
with snowwhite hair and pretty face:
"I tried to find her all day and night long,
but I couldn't find her anywhere,
I fear my wife got lost - or worse...
as a whacky wicked witch is living here!"  

Lately I walked deep into a forest near my house,
as I often spend there my afternoons and nights,
thinking about what happened in my life
and who will be the next to come and visit
**me and my whacky wicked house.