I love, when you unzip the layers of your personas,
letting me peek behind the mask
Revealing your raw edges
allowing me to be your haven from the world of facade.

I love, when you strip down your heart, 
unfold your thoughts, 
share your inner struggles
and pour your secrets into my ear
allowing me to be your sanctuary.

I love, when you lean your head on my shoulder
let my hands hold yours
and you let your tears flow
allowing me to be your solace.

I love, when you’re vulnerable and raw with me
making me one of the very few of those
who knows the darkest and brightest part of your mind,
and who are deeply embedded in your heart.

I’m not going to lose anymore.
I’m not going to take it in the gut without throwing a punch back.
I’m not going to go down without attempting to get up.
I refuse to lose you without burning myself trying to win you back.
I refuse to look for refuge or safety like I used to because I found something I want to fight for.
I refuse to let you go without staring down the chamber of a .44, looking you in the eye before you pull the trigger.

So if you pull the trigger, at least let me know why.
If you’re going to **** me, **** me on my feet.
I don’t want you to be my enemy.
I don’t want you to be the anchor that pulls me down to the bottom again.
I don’t want you to be a missed chance, or a “could have been”
I don’t want you to become someone I resent, or a waste of time.

I know you’re looking at this.
I know you’re watching and reading these words.
You know what I want.
It’s been a few weeks, but the time we spent is valuable to me.
And dare I say it was valuable to you too.

I don’t waste my words.
I don’t say things if I don’t mean it.
I don’t lead people on.
I don’t tell you I care for you if I’m just going to spit behind your back.
I don’t say “I love you” if I didn’t put so much thought into what I was saying.

You’re right. We are different.
But I was never looking for the same. I have enough of the same.

I want you because you teach me.
You unlocked something I never thought I knew about myself.
You taught me how to be vulnerable.
You’re someone I didn’t know I could grow to love.
And you have so much more to teach me that you don’t even know.

I know your time is precious,
But want you to be mine.
I never promised you forever -
But I promised you one day at a time.

And If you want it, you still have it.


Yeah?

The truth is that I miss you
              And It’s hard to fight the distance
                                      The truth is I ain’t ready-
                                                 to do this but I can’t miss it

                                                   But the truth is nobody is ready
                                  And the pain is that we need to grow
                And I hate how I lived so cynical
Because vulnerable is hard over the phone

                                      And I hate using the word
                                                        demon
I think It’s a bitter cliche
                         But what other word can sum up

The                                             i m a g e r y                   inside of the pain.



                                       So maybe I am protective
                                      But I swear that I can try
                                      To open up a little more
                                      If you could just give me some




                                                                                                                   time.

Wrap me in paper.
Adorn me with ribbons.
A tag addressed "only for you."
I shall offer the most fragile of gifts, myself.

Sometime between six and eight o’clock last night
You replaced my lungs with TV static
It crackles and fizzles and won’t let me sleep
Sending shivers and shocks though my body

At exactly 9 o’clock when you left me at my door
You placed a tiny pebble inside my throat
Constricting my words and my breath, and it won’t go away
Maybe you’ll take it away when I see you again

No, I do not take any drugs except bitter pills
I am not a heavy drinker except of tea and rain
I am not vaccinated against vulnerability (my mistake)
But if you would kindly remove the heart, I’ll be going then

You’re acting so cold,
Sending chills through my bones.
You’re acting so bold,
That it sounds like a scold.

I knew who you were from the start  
But now I don’t know who you are anymore.
Maybe it’s just a phase
Because of all the pain you endured.

But brick by brick
the towers have grown tall
And I can’t see you at all.

I am trying to find a worn area,
I am trying to find a window
To the softness that once existed
Because it feels like
there is nothing between us at all.

Life can be tough, when it feels like you're walking your path alone.
The problems of your past can make it hard to let anyone in.
It maybe okay to be a lone wolf sometimes, but does it make you happy?
No one to talk to, to make you smile or to make you laugh can make this world a lonely place to live.
Are you lonely by choice or are you scared to let yourself feel vulnerable?
Is it better to have the emotional capacity of a robot or to be an open book?
Some people say you're born alone and die alone, but who says you have to live alone?
Who do you create memories with?
You are unique and your perfect match is out there.

I've gone to long without sound
can't play the victim now.

I know what you've done
and I know whats to come.
But still i'm the one
doing nothing at all.

you utterly deride me
deny me the truth
and defy me

the truth is healing
something that your needing
since your still bleeding out.

I should turn
and walk beside my shame
and learn that with great love
comes great pain.

I know what I've done.
and I know i'm the one
doing nothing at all now.

I don't know how
I can't just cry out

I don't know why
I can't just be without
you ever again.



But

You saw me naked.
Not without clothes, but without my wall.
The 10 foot, steel reinforced, wall around my heart.
You broke in, brick by brick.
And I let you, I let you see me vulnerable.
Forgetting what others had done to me when they saw me the same.
I wish I could say you were different.
But, you saw me naked.
And you laughed, pointed out my insecurities, and broke me so much that I rebuilt my wall.
I rebuilt it higher and stronger than before.
Protecting my heart from so called love.
You also saw me without clothes.
Burned your touch into my skin.
Whispered sweet nothings into my ear, and that's just what they meant.
Nothing.
I can't look at my body without thinking about you.
Because, you saw me naked.
Defenseless and with open arms.
I shouldn't have trusted you.
But I did anyway.
I thought that since you had a wall to we would be amazing together.
But.
I never saw you naked.

Many people are afraid of becoming
Christians; the concept of caring,
showing compassion, giving of one’s
self and resources, or being simply
vulnerable before others, can be…
unnerving. We know, that trusting

ourselves may be a risky proposition.
That’s why we continually lean on His
Strength, His Name, His Truth and His
Word. We’re not operating alone; and
we’re not meant… to do so. As we find
Faith’s inner steel in His Salvation,

it also provides the necessary footing
for us to move forward. We’ve no real
reason to fear the Darkness, for His
Light pierces it easily, when we speak
against it. Rise up; stand in Faith!
Without Him, we’re technically nothing.