I’ll always remember tonight,
Dressed in your old white t shirt,
I’ll remember the shape of your fingers
Running along my skin,
I’ll remember your lips
Upon my braw,
I’ll remember telling you to stop
Even tho you never did.

I’ll remember still loving you,
Despite what you did to me
I’ll remember that you said you loved me too,
And what you did to me, is what you had to do
to prove it to me

He treats me like a Queen,
Still I can’t help but wonder if he will be like you too
Funny how I am afraid of what he might become yet the most comforting place I’ve ever been is his arms.
I look to him for protection yet I fear him and what he might do,
He’s never given me a reason to doubt him but most of the men from my past life haunt my thoughts, spreading lies like wildfire
I run to him, almost as if being attracted by a magnet, it’s out of my control
I cringe whenever he takes his belt off,
I know he would never hit me yet the memory of leather striking my skin like a whip,
My mother’s hands pounding on the door and her dread-filled screams,
lingers in the back of my mind like a nightmare I cannot escape from
Now that I am older it’s easier to understand she knew what he was capable of,
She had been in my position before,
She never told me as a child because I had this glorified image of him,
He was the first man that seemed like he wanted to take care of us and love us,
I viewed him as a father and even called him Dad
He had just loved his alcohol and cigars more than his love for us
I sometimes start to think about what our future children will look like,
But I stop in my tracks because that evil voice in my head asks “what if he turns out like him”?
Will it always be like this, I fear

People stand around
Worried sick

Wondering and waiting
For life to click

They're always the victim
Always feeling sorry

Hoping for a fight
But never emerging in glory

To be fair
I will give them the benefit of the doubt

Even though all they do
Is willow and shout

It's true that it's tough to get up
When life takes you so far down

And it's hard to get respect
When you walk with a broken crown

There are situations
That hit you when you have no plan

But my mother always said
Tough choices make the man