I'm young.
I'm scarred.
I'm traumatized.
So why do I want *that?

Your claws are out you rip and tear
You beat me down till I'm not there
You slash and stab without a thought
You aim your words just like a shot
You spew out hate assigning blame
You live to threaten, blind, and maim.

You wont let me grow you won't let me live
Guilt and shame are all you give
You chain me down till I can't breathe
Knowing I'm too weak to leave
You've stripped me bare, removed my soul
Cut me open and swallowed me whole.

You insult with lies until I'm deaf
Steal my joy till I have none left
I've tried to scream, I've tried to hide
So many times I've wish I died
Death would be better than this hell I allow
If I wasn't a coward id be there right now.

The times last year
you stole my body
I remember vividly
As that day grows near
I feel hatred growing in me
Something I have not felt
For anyone but myself
In the longest time
I wish I could show you
What your theft left me with
Or go back in time and
Lock the door though
you climbed through the window

Did you think I would have let you in?

Your confidence smelled
Of Cologne mixed with power
Your alpha hands grabbed my waist
And I have thrown up every day
Remembering how you called me names
For telling you to stay the **** away

I still see it sometimes and I hate that
No one, not even the witness believed me
I have yet to fill what you dug when you stole my body from me

Do I lack ambition?
A thread of red
Severed by one rusted knife
Do I reserve the right to hold my head up high?
A stubborn pride that festers like mold
But clutching a grip that refutes self acceptance
I force myself into an envelope
Sealed from all the ill intent of many
Am I just meant to play the part-
of the feeble victim?

Pale skin scattered with black and blue
Deathly pallor engorging hues
Sorry eyes sobbing their woes
Pleading for help but hoping no one knows
Little people still unformed
Perfect shadows now forlorn
Twitching lips quivering in fear
Dry flesh flushed with tears
That had only recently disappeared
Who will hold his hand
Who will take a chance
Who will wait and understand
Why the innocent can’t dance
Fading as all things discarded, ill-used
Garbage, soft human refuse
The child unsheltered scarred, scared and abused
Who will save the children and doing so save themselves

Paint yourself with sores and wounds
Broken bones and a broken soul
Allow yourself to wallow in self pity, self loathing
You deserve it

I truly believe that you are the worst kind of person
Apathy is all you deserve
You used another person as a toy for your own pleasure
I feel no empathy when you are terrified by the horrors you've created

Your eyes have finally been opened
Watering as they are bombarded with smoke and flames
The destruction you have caused, created, entertained yourself with?
It's permanent. You cannot fix this. It's done.

Don't crying poor victim,
When both you and I know you're not.
Leave her alone to she can find her smile again.
Try to fix yourself before you go fixing someone else.

You were like a natural disaster to our lives.

While we played in a field.

No warning.

You appeared...

You struck and we lay scattered on that field...

In tears.

Confused.

In pain.

Broken inside out.

No longer just children.

Victims to young to understand that we were forever changed.

To young to understand why we felt ***** and guilty.

The threats and fear, made us silent...

Fear and interrogation made me lie.

You left us in that open space forever, no matter where we went.

And our lives were taken...

Our parents were broken, because parents break when thier children are hurt.

And my lie...

My lie forever changed my protectors life.

My fear made me hurt another.

We were so young...

Some not old enough for school.

Our fear allowed the disaster to strike others...

Now as adults we know a new guilt.

But we were so young.

This very unnatural disaster still walks the earth...

Somebody gives this pervert comfort...

But we are forever changed.

Stronger today, yes...

But never again as free as before he stole our innocence.

This disaster turned our world upside down, and revisited us for years taking more of us each time he put his disgusting hands on us.

I'm not to religious, but I believe in God.

I have yet to know the reason for this, except that we are great protective parents...

And as I believe there's a God...

I know there is also a hell.

And while God tells us to forgive...

I have yet to forgive even myself for being so full of fear, because it allowed him to walk free and hurt us again and again, and others through time.

There is no part of us sacred or untouched by that evil...

No matter who knows our story, there's no person not even eachother who understands the depth of our individual torment.

The unfair torture of feeling an isolated, unexplainable, personal  taste of evil.

Like a natural disaster, he struck us down...

Children at play made victims of a child molester.

Survivor's!

Of a sick family member's distgusting taste for extremely young children.

We can't say we are ok.

We refuse to say you are anything more then a creature that has not yet met God's wrath.

And dare not say, you to know abuse...

Dare not say you found God...

God and abuse will find you when your six feet under.

I know I sin as I write this...

But to forgive...

As a mother myself...

Well that's it's not in me.

Do unto others...

Do unto others, that's how I live.

She warned him before he came over
that she might wake him up in the night.
For her mind is plagued with monsters
that cause her to act out her nightmares.
He laughed it off and chose to go anyway,
aware of the seriousness in her warning.
He laid with her through the trauma,
and got a glimpse into the prison she owns.
The prison that lives and thrives in her brain.
He did not question her motives when
she woke up suddenly and pushed him away.
He wasn’t afraid for he understood why.
She wondered why he wasn’t scared,
and suddenly it hit her like a train.
The reason he did not startle was simple.
He must be plagued with monsters too.