for every thought of you
i stole a kindling star
from the night sky
to keep the thought warm

until the moon
shattered shivering
from the starless cold

i saw my thieving hands
glittered with the heavens

they were not a galaxy of you
but a constellation of me

Darkness leaped in, smothered my psyche.
Led me down a hall, into the cinema I went, not willing.
A theatrical presentation, an outcry ensued.
Perception forever altered.
A mind completely new.  
My ideals, my dreams, dissipating with the ending scene.
Go forth I did, dashing into the illuminating beam.
A challenge of realization, no immediate hesitation.
Advancement granted, the understanding,
of another dimension.  
Speechless, words cannot explain.
Abandoned, with nothing left.
An experience to entertain,
while under the dancing rain,
Vanity's Game.

Will we be truly happy?
Will we be truly free?
I ask myself this **** on a daily.
Who the **** is going to save me?
I answer
Only yourself man, only yourself.

Is it vanity? Is it money?
Is it love that keeps
you happy?
Will you give your all
to hold onto your sanity?
All because you feel
that you are happy?
Will you never sleep
to chase a dream?
Even when you lack self-esteem?
Even when those around you
don't believe in your dream?
Will you be happy?

Will you be happy
when you lose all of your friends?
Because perfecting your craft
means more to you than
what you all did in the past?
Will they follow you
on your self-paved path
or will they wonder off
and let life become wasted trash?
You know life is precious.
You know life is meaningful.
That is why you protect yourself
and perfect yourself.
So that you can
make life more beautiful
in your eyes, in your mind.
Will you be happy?
Will you be free?

Will you be happy?
Will you be free?
When you are where
you need to be.
Will you still be true to yourself?
Or would you follow the crowd
and follow the money
and become a **** sell out?
To sell your soul
completely out for
someone else gold paved route?
Will you still love
the way you use
to love?
Or would heartache and pain
distort your heart's vibrations
and cause you to love no longer?
Free of attachments.
Will you be happy?
Will you be free?

Sara L Russell, 15th January 2016, 00:04
-----------------------------------------------------------­--------

So yeah this is me and Julie outside H&M;…
trying too hard to look ****?
Desperate tarts more like.
We went to Starbucks after that, then the pub,
and then… the rest of the afternoon's a blur. Haha.

----------✿-----------

Oh yes and this one's me with Foo Foo,
stupid cat's sitting on top of my presentation.
She can be useless at times but she makes a good hot water bottle
when it's like, really cold? You know? Cats are great for that.
Dead sympathetic too. Good listeners.

----------✿-----------

Oh now this is a good one. This is me
with that **** actor off I'm a Celebrity.
He was in… actually I can't remember what he was in?
Really like, **** though? Yet I've only seen him on I'm a Celebrity?
Anyway he was cool with stopping for a selfie. God love him.
(Whoever he is).

----------✿-----------

Ahh… this one is me with Julie again. She's such a ******.
She's got one of those light up Santa hats on. Daft *****.
Never did get one for me. Not that I'd wear one.
I prefer those furry reindeer antlers.
See? There's one of me with antlers on.

----------✿-----------

Oh here's one of me and Mum.
Yeah very sad I know. She tries so hard to be cool, bless her.
Embarrassing really. I gave her my old phone and
she still hasn't worked out how to use it.
Takes loads of photos of herself though.
So sad.

Where does my courage form,
if not from the belly of despair?
Where does my strength bread,
so to turn me into something magnificent.
I am the founder of glory,
the giver of greatness.
I have a stoic heart, washed in the blood of my
enemies,
But I know no love,
and that kills me.
For  man with love only for himself,
is bound to an inexorable death.

Wallow, wallow, wallow
Until the first cracks
Show on your body.
Bees on lips
And whales in your woods
Make your life uneasy.
You manage to overdo the thinking
Which makes you unhappy
Deaf and blind
Yet even more beautiful.

The coffin of your closest relative
Never asked you anything
But you keep on justifying
Every little detail of your past.
Now you exhale yourself
On a wild bouquet of dandelions.

Keep still
For a moment.

You’re safe from questions in your own reflection
Another brain thinks for you,
VANITAS winks at you but you don’t give her attention,
Skulls and faded flowers smell like danger,
Nothing good can ever come out of that.

I may be saving your life,
I may stroke your neck but gently,
Leave your beauty intact
But with a bruise.

We paint our lives on color film
Absorbing familiar reflection
And we watch as we live
So little in color film
We love, we ****
We bleed, we die
Do we think God is watching?

Do we think we are the reflection
Why are we watching?
Mountain sides and Lilly beds
Prairies and the mighty ocean
Now held in our hands
Nobody is there
Is anyone here
What is everyone watching?

Loneliness painted in window sills
Plasma radiation gleams on
White, pictureless walls
Millions

Watching sunsets
And passions flame
Lust pervert
Warm golden skin
Radiates tangerine
And the lonely feel
Vicarity
Painting red
On Blank slates
And fill with vacant desire

Million of on lookers
Alone, watching

Watching the world burn
Watching mothers cry
Watching beaches sludge
Watching deserts snow
Watching brave children die
Watching brothers betray
Watching love fail
Watching countries fall
Watching debts paid

Millions of miles of tapes and bits
Project a millions of protestant cries
Endlessly, eternally
Do we think God is watching?

Do we think?
While we're watching
Bathing in radiation
Children don't know how to read
Live their lives on
A television screen
A whole generation
Living vicariously
Do we think?

Millions of gray souls
And avid voters
Watch angry men spout nostalgic redirect
Watch their children live their lives
Watch game shows and advertisements
Watch the six o' clock news
Watch police shoot children in the street

A million beautiful, lonely people
Watch red carpet vanity
Watch million dollar celebrity parties
Watch the American dream lash the
Backs of the fuedal and disenfranchised
Watch depraved souls sacrifice self
For the company of fame

Meanwhile children don't read

Do we think?
A thought original
Is there any thing left to believe
Everyone so sure there's nothing they haven't seen
Nobody leaves their house
Nobody can bear to read
Just watch the world slip into insanity

Ignorance is the greatest weapon
Yet all I see is guns blazing
80 billion dollars to dry the desert
Not a one for education

American families gather
Around their TV screens
They can't stop watching
They're afraid of what they see
Do they think God is watching?


I hope God isn't watching

Vandalized,

Raked,

Ripped apart by a melodious gaze.

The cloak of beauty,

Gasping for air for its victims,

Breath is taken for granted.

A curtain,

It hangs over the light,

Beautiful illumination implanted into darkness.

The sounds of happiness,

Covered,

Hidden by a warped reality.

There once was a hole,

Many fell into it,

And most never came back.

There cloaks torn,

Ripped apart by one knife,

A blade of humility and vulnerability.

Who would fall into this,

Why would they want a life full of vanity?

Fake smiles, and empty eyes stare at them so helplessly.

Jagged edges,

Black, and dull pupils
,
The interlocked look is vigilant.

Tattered, 

Abandoned,

The life of volatile beauty and emotion.