Just as I was about to take my shoes, off of the rooftop there I see, A girl with braided hair there before me. Despite myself I go and scream, "Hey! Don't do it please!" Woah wait a minute, what did I just say? I couldn't care less either way. To be honest, I was some what ******. This was an opportunity missed. The girl with braided hair told me her woes. You've probably heard it all before. "I really thought that he might be the one, but then he told me he was done." For God's sakes please! Are you serious? I just can't believe that for some stupid reason you got here before me! Are you upset cause you can't have what you wanted? You're lucky that you've never gotten robbed of anything! "I'm feeling better, thank you for listening." The girl with braided hair then disappeared.

"Alright today's the day!" Or so I thought. Just as I took both of my shoes off, there was but a girl short as can be. Despite myself I go and scream. The petite girl told me her woes. You've probably heard it all before. "Everyone ignores me, everyone steals. I don't fit in with anyone here." For God's sakes please! Are you serious? I just can't believe that for some stupid reason you got here before me! Cause even so, you're still loved by everyone at home. There's always dinner waiting at the the table you know! "I'm hungry." Said the girl, she shed a tear. The girl short as can be then disappeared.

And like that, there was someone everyday. I listened to their tales, I made them turn away. But yet there was no one who would do this for me, no way I could let out all this pain....

For the very first time there I see, someone with the same pains as me. Having done this time and time again, she wore a yellow cardigan. "I just wanna stop the scars that grow every time that I go home. That's why I came up here instead." That's what the girl in the cardigan said. Woah wait a minute, what did I just say? I couldn't care less either way. But in the moment I just screamed something that I did not believe. "Hey! Don't do it please!" What to do?! I can't stop this girl, oh this is new! For once I think I've bitten off more than I can chew! But even so, please just go away so I can't see, your pitiful expression is just too much for me! "I guess today is just not my day." She looked away from me and then she disappeared.

There's no one here today, I guess it's time. It's just me, myself, and I. There's no one who can interfere. No one to get in my way here. Taking off my yellow cardigan, watching my braids all come undone, this petite girl short as can be, is gonna jump now and be free.

i watch the ink run down my arm
the pen, writing the feelings
i could never explain with words;
sitting on my bathroom floor
never led to anything
but unwanted art

there’s a glass window between you and me
the kind so clean that sometimes
you think you’re on the same side
it’s just an illusion, a pathetic fantasy
so instead you tap at the glass and mock me
with your laughs, banter, and little secrets
there are quite a few people on the inside
i’ve noticed it’s getting crowded in there
but i’ve never seen the window open
so how do they manage to sneak their way in
you let in flies and snakes and spiders but you won’t let me in
maybe i should break this glass between you and me
and even though the shards will cut my fingers and knees
it’ll be worth all the pain if it finally means i’m in  

- alone

What's it like to feel wanted?
i could have told you before
but i can't recall anymore

We have skin as muddy as waters. Vaginas smelling of blood, unwanted babies and 400 years of forced entries. That's all we have in common. What I have is sickness in the mind. Many people say depression is the emperor of many mentalities; some say it turns your mind into this forbidden city, giving you 8000 sorts of depressing feelings like no will ever love you, just go they won’t even notice you’re gone. They call it depression dynasty. They give depression so much prestige and many of them romantizes depression. But do they really know what it is? It's all watered down into something antidepressant can tone down but pills can't help all the attacks that come from different angles. Laughter turns into tears cause you can't help but hear that little voice "You're not happy", so I'd rather sit in my bedroom and write. Oh wait I've lost that skill now, thanks to my anxiety that is. That's depressions' cousin, depression felt the need to invite him over. Funny how life goes. I thought I'd abort this poetry thing,when all the pain tones down creativity seems to find a new abode. Failed poet I call myself, I can't use high metaphors, fail to express all these emotions so what's the use. I seem to fail at everything I do. I'm trying not to waste my time, but this is what I want to do. The demons come as a sequence of powerful leaders and I just can't sit here and let them dictate to me.