Ever feel so certain that you've found the right way?

I feel so certain, every single day.

But like the wind, my mind will change.
Change and bend but never breaks.

I'm on a journey but is it the right path?
I thought so yesterday when I went left.

Back then right and zig and zag.
Where am I going? I have to ask.

I thought I got there, I thought you were the one, but I'm sat here in darkness and;

I still don't know.

Naps hit like a brick wall
At cement semi truck speeds
The collision re-envisions
Clay brick to ice cube
Shattering into my reality,
As I try and get up from
My prone position
My mind fills in the cracks,
Of my name, my place, my childhood,
With the melted mixing moments
It had just shown me before,

Mr. CandyCane visiting last minute,
With exes kissing every other tooth,
Grown bamboo out of a pupil,
Who sits attent in my dog's school,
Greeted by your smiling face at home,
But his face is reflected on my head in your eyes
Forehead lines are my only check at this point,
In dreams my face refuses to show up,
But awake I cannot escape acne wrath

just hit my second decade
will it be my last?

are the questions
I ask in uni
worth the breath
I waste on it?

the papers I write,
the presentations I complete,
is anything worth it?

no one knows

Your life's a mess
My life's a mess
Your love's a mess
My love's...
        I don't know
Maybe I don't have it
Do I not
Do I feel it
Do I know how it feels
        No
        I don't
        I don't know how it feels
Do you
You do
But you don't feel it now

Yours is a mess
But not for me
Mine's... unsure

I sit here
And let my mind wander
Down silly paths
Pondering the past
Wondering why some things
Last
A shadow casts
My silouhette trying to stand
Tall
But small
Is how I feel
As I fall
To knees pleading
I'm not really sure how I'm feeling
These days, become all the same
Mundane

When I close my eyes
And try to sleep
Attempting to rest
Letting my dreams meet

I can't stand the quiet
The unsettling silence
When my mind is restless
But the world is silent

My mind races
With ideas that aren't true
With visions that won't happen
With words that weren't spoken

But I lay there
Listening to my mind
As my body lays still
But my mind still screams

Why should I think
Of things that aren't true
Letting my nightmares haunt me
Dealing with constant restlessness

But you came
Unexpected and fast
I have whiplash from your kindness
Words I have never heard before

But as I lay there
Tightly in your arms
I feel comfort
For once I feel safe

My mind stays silent
Even without the rain
Without the fan
It's still quiet

Instead I listen to you
How your chest rises and falls
How your heart begins to settle
Even your sighs of contempt

Everything is still new
And I'm afraid
But when you just hold me
I've never felt this safe

I do not know what love is
Never having the feeling in my chest
But when I lay here with you
I feel I'm at my best

Thank you my love I know that will soon bloom