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Eleanor Sinclair May 2019
You were mine
You were my words and my thoughts
The whisper in my ear
Singing to me a song only I was blessed enough to hear
But the melody faded,
Dissipated into nothing but a hum
Now I dully strain to make the song remain
Yet it has grown so quiet
That when I try, all I hear is rain
Maria Etre Apr 2019
Now
In times of solitude
you and me
sum up
to
I
Eleanor Sinclair Apr 2019
I am not but a flower
And he
He is the whole garden
TS Apr 2019
Relentless thoughts of emotion and self hate

Product of years of constant deception

I love you, an over used expression

Never truly meant but often spoken

Actions that follow the phrase

Are truly what matters but are often led astray

Effortless feelings destroyed by selfish ways

Forever sounds great until that last day.
Eleanor Sinclair Apr 2019
I think of you in every hour
And with every site of gorgeous flower
I try to forget the happiness you brought
But in my saddest moment that is the greatest thought
It brings a smile to my face, what we used to be
How undeserving of you I was and only now can see
I have no words that can express this best
Except, you’re the last thought as I lay my head to rest
Eleanor Sinclair Apr 2019
Lost in space
I find my mind racing
Chasing what parts I can still assemble
It resembles a time a while ago
When my days were in disarray and I searched for a way to find where I needed to go
So I stayed below the radar but some how not low enough and it was tough for me to be the center of attention
Especially when it was so negatively directed at me
My brains still races and retraces the thoughts places and faces that got me where I am
But **** does it hurt some times
They’ve committed no crimes against me or the law but when I think of some of the things said my jaw still falls and the drops from my eyes still stall in empty space
These thoughts reside only in empty space
So why do they hurt so much and cause my exhausted heart to pace
A Apr 2019
I turned eighteen thinking I won't make it that far.
I'm not proud that I did because life is becoming serious.
I cannot see a future for myself beyond a grave,
I can't help but think that that's all 'm destined for.
Why do I keep lying to myself then?
clinging on to the dead hope of a better life someday
how many candles do I have to blow with closed eyes?
wishing I could rewind my youth to stargazing and parties and freedom
not looking from sidelines at what others enjoy
can I, for once, feel real change?
nothing half assed or false promises,
for I feel like my life has been getting by on that
But it's not enough anymore.

I loathe crawling into bed everyday wishing I had a life beside my own
one where I feel content and complete instead of broken and torn
my words disgust me now I'm afraid
I can't seem to get them out how I want to anymore
to tell you the truth i feel like I strayed
from the only road that led me towards expression

now I'm stuck in my head under the roof of my room
wishing my depression away with saltly tears for it is my doom.
im sorry i ****
Poetress2 Apr 2019
He had lied, deceived, and cheated,
used mind games to make her stay;
She'd slowly died, deep down inside,
yet she could not get away.
~
He played the "Blame Game" often,
yet he never took the fall;
He claimed she was the problem,
everything was all her fault.
~
So she tried her best each morning,
to hide the tears that she shed;
They were room mates in their home,
and strangers in their own bed.
~
He no longer loved this woman,
and she did not love him back;
She saw no sense in staying,
so she slowly began to pack.
~
No trust or communication,
excisted anymore;
She wondered if she left him,
would he hear her shut the door?
~
Yet she was much too weak,
to go out on her own;
She lacked the strength, that it would take,
to leave her unhappy home.
Eleanor Sinclair Apr 2019
<3
My heart can’t take another moment
The beats are slowing
It has exploded
Eleanor Sinclair Apr 2019
I’ve contemplated drugs.
Heroine, LSD, *******,
Anything that could maybe numb the pain.

I’ve contemplated leaving.
The state, the country,
But I’m only deceiving.

I’ve thought about the facts.
Rolling over them in my head,
There’s no way to go back.

I lost myself some time ago.
I can impress but not connect...
I have many masks, tomorrow I’ll pick a new row.
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