The universe talks to me.
And right now it's saying you're no good for me
Everywhere I turn, I see how we would not work
We're too similar
We don't add to each other's character
We don't grow together - we grow alongside each other
We believe the same things - but when we don't, we can't hear the other out.
I don't want to listen.

We drown in each other's eyes but claw up each others minds
Planting traces of explosives that time will force together
Into a whole, ready to shatter
And take with it our sanity,
Our mutual care
Our love

You're no good for me, the universe tells me
It gives me many alternatives,
Throws people in my path
Brings back old friends, previous acquaintances, long-forgotten memories
I'm not listening yet.

The universe tries to talk to me
I don't want to listen
I want to drown in your eyes like you drown in my voice

The universe tries to talk to me.
I don't want to listen.

But you don't talk to me anymore.
Should I start listening?

I woke up chained in an erroneous love
I wept alone in my sorry state
The world’s quite deaf with all
my cries
I hurt myself and cursed my fate
The cuts are deep, my cup is emptied
The thread is thin and I’m hanging low
In my quiet moments of reflection
I held onto every bit of memory
On how sweet our love was used to be
The intentions were real but the truth is untold
Agonized as the lies unfold
Oftentimes I asked myself
of how  could you control me this much
Though I am tempted with hatred and overwhelmed with grief
My heart even ached with the thought of your touch
And much would I wanted to say it’s over, it really is this time
I still have a pull in my soul and on my mind
Though my life is torn apart,
my heart is still in bind
I know I shouldn’t feel this way
I know I shouldn’t have to care
After all I have realized, I never needed you
But then I knew exactly what is right, that it’s you who needed me

built to be torn
grown and then chopped,
we are.
set up in a mainstream world
blindly unaware that acceptance
is just an illusion with false hype
of great importance.
with conformists scared of 'insanity'
and shunning as the cure for all fear,
individualism falls.
society mindlessly pushes difference
off a black and white cliff
to decompose in a sea of acidic hate.
just for being content with our oddities,
we are shut down like the ignorant.
oh, how unfortunate we are
to be cursed with a brain.

I am torn in two, divided yet whole.
Split in half, I hold both parts of my soul.
I thought I knew the answer— I don't know.
Don’t count on it— It’s decidedly so.

I should make the choice— we can never choose
Let’s flip a coin, heads they win, tails we loose.
—We lost— Let’s shake the ball for counsel
With out a doubt! —Or is it quite doubtful?

Yes or no, or maybe so, we will see.
Yes, I know, just let it go, we are free.
Are we wrong, or right, is it day or night, tell me.

Am I torn, divided, or split in two?
There’s a difference?— Oh if only I knew.
The voices in my head say they know what to do.

1/28/19

I am torn in two, divided yet whole.
Split in half, I hold both parts of my soul.
I thought I knew the answer— I don't know,
Do I dive in head first or take things slow?

We should try being friends first— her smile.
She laughs— a half of me sees an aisle
I’m too quick to jump— no, too slow to move
I’m too sick —Make a choice!— Will I ever choose.

Yes or no, or, yes and know? We’ll see,
Or maybe we never will, please, tell me.
Someone, anyone, will I be set free?

Am I divided, split, or torn in two?
Is there a difference? I wish I knew.
Oh, for crying out loud,what do I do?

1/17/19

My poems seem to have been
torn
apart
the edges frayed
the phrases broken
unable to be put
back
together
again