My mouth is stretched into a parody of a smile
As I look into the mirror
I swallow down the rising bile
Try to make my vision clearer

I wipe the tears off my face
As I contemplate
Which choice would hold more grace?
I try not to deteriorate

I tell myself it’s okay
You don’t have to worry anymore
You can lock yourself away
Deep within your core

I try to still my mind
And look around for the last time
To this place that I will never again find
This enigmatic pantomime

Finally I close my eyes
And when they open I’m gone
My real self dies
And my conscious soul is withdrawn

Whether it be secrets or lies
She keeps them hidden inside
Miseries and agonies too
She's beside herself
Without the silence,
Too much noise breaks through
Not knowing what else to do
She runs to that place
Where she keeps her silence
Hidden away
It's dark there
And filled with so much pain
But she can never let the silence escape
Too many losses and nothing to gain
Let the tears rain, she can't explain
So, she hides herself in her dreams
With the silence she keeps

This shattered house
  I've found myself surrounded by
Breaks a little more each day
   The walls I've built and plastered
Are peeling away layers of guilt
    Hanging mirrors with shadows of reflections
    Ghosts of ink spilt
This floor, these bricks, the cement out the doorstep
     Pavement falling apart from where so many shoes have walked
   Decorated with outlines of broken hearts in chalk
      If these walls could talk
They'd tell stories of rage and pain,
   Of the misery born into its foundation
           Day after day
If these cupboards could hold as many secrets as those walls have heard
    Of the lies they've tried to hide away inside, they would burst
      If you could save the tear drops that have fallen under this crumbling roof top
    Then you could drown this dilapidated house
       Bury it alive with no doubt that the years of emotion and agony it's kept hidden inside
  Will easily and willingly have peace when it dies
       The color of the paint would simply be forgotten before the end of the day
     The torn and rotten foundation would just be ripped away and replaced
  With stronger cement at its base for someone new to cling to
      And new walls and paint for another soul to suffer through
  But this shattered house still stands
      There's no plans to rebuild all these shards of my broken heart splattered on the ground
   And nothing will ever replace my soul when this house falls down

That's me, pure fragility
Been broken and put back together too many times
Honestly, the lines are getting weaker
And the cracks take so much less
To shatter the shards into pieces
Of broken heart

I'm too fragile to handle any more pain
And too hurt to hold on
When there's nothing to gain

Addicted to the room spinning
The blur of the lights
And the red in my eyes
My disguise in the dead of the night
And you've been fine all this time
Yet I've been drinking myself to sleep
Since the beginning of all the lies
Wondering how you're fine
Then I realize that in the light of day
Everyone sees a smile on my face
No one can see all my regrets
All my mistakes
And I think that you hide
Behind whiskey too
Cause it's my only addiction
Besides you
And I'd like to think that you're miserable too
How else could I make it through?
Whiskey took your place years ago
But I'm still addicted to you both
At least drinking shows me the truth
All I ever got was lies from you
I know I need to quit
You and whiskey
But I can't seem to forget your face
And that bottle is so pretty
I guess another shot couldn't hurt anything
**** you and whiskey
You're both way too addicting

Color the insides of my soul
With a black gloss paint

Empty the blood from my veins
Replace it with lava,
Keep it flowing through my heart

Fill my brain with tar
Let it harden,
To keep the headaches away

Turn my bones to to ash
Paint then neon orange flat paint
Because that's my favorite color

Make my skin redwood bark
Hard, to help keep away the pain
Because it's too much to handle

Erase my memories
Fill them in with a hypmotizing array
Of all the colors of the rainbow

I realize I'll look creepy
And scary as hell
But at least I won't feel anything
Anymore

I want nothing left
Of my miserable life
From before

She loves deep
Hates even deeper
Rejection is near
And scares her
A last resort
She's desperately in need
Of something to lift her up
Stop the chance that she'll bleed
It's a scary life she leads
She runs, she pushes and she cries
It's more than she can handle
But she continuously tries
She asks herself these questions
How does she survive?
How does she fake the lies?
What could she possibly do
To hide her truth in disguise?
There is no where left to run
Her fears are all coming true
She knows her life is coming undone
There's nothing left she can do
The life she had is finally through