I have had a little problem for the last four days or so,
of when I go into the toilet I just can't seem to go.
I get myself all seated just as comfortable as I can,
try to make quite certain I am centred on the pan.
I wait for things to happen but nothing seems to start,
no motions seem to occur not even some hint that I might ****.
I decide to try and push it and build pressure by holding breath,
but all that seems to do is put me close to suffocated death.
I grunt and squeak and gasp until an ear popped gasket blows,
all I end up doing is going red and blowing bubbles with my nose.
I tried a change of diet and drank gallon upon gallon of fruit juice,
but still there seems no evidence that anything is coming loose.
I have tried a change of position with my knees against my chin,
but I found it really awkward and ended up falling in.
My belly has gotten very large and feels as tight as a drum,
so much so I contemplate if you can use a crowbar on your ***.
I am sure outside the toilet they are hearing more than mere moans,
Looks I get quite often suggests surprise I've still got any bones.
I know that sometime eventually this thing will have to pass,
I just hope that when it does I can still use paper on my **.
Its true... I'm full of *hit
ah.... the beauty of poetry...
