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Michael R Burch Apr 2020
Happily Never After (the Second Curse of the ***** Toad)
by Michael R. Burch

He did not think of love of Her at all
frog-plangent nights, as moons engoldened roads
through crumbling stonewalled provinces, where toads
(nee princes) ruled in chinks and grew so small
at last to be invisible. He smiled
(the fables erred so curiously), and thought
bemusedly of being reconciled
to human flesh, because his heart was not
incapable of love, but, being cursed
a second time, could only love a toad’s . . .
and listened as inflated frogs rehearsed
cheekbulging tales of anguish from green moats . . .
and thought of her soft croak, her skin fine-warted,
his anemic flesh, and how true love was thwarted.

Originally published by Romantics Quarterly. Keywords/Tags: frog, *****, toad, prince, princess, curse, kiss, fable, true, love, magic, spell, croak, kingdom

Happily Never After
by Michael R. Burch

Happily never after, we lived unmerrily
(write it!—like disaster) in Our Kingdom by the See
as the man from Porlock’s laughter drowned out love’s threnody.

We ditched the red wheelbarrow in slovenly Tennessee
and made a picturebook of poems, a postcard for Tse-Tse,
a list of resolutions we knew we couldn’t keep,
and asylum decorations for the King in his dark sleep.

We made it new so often strange newness, wearing old,
peeled off, and something rotten gleamed dull yellow, not like gold:—
like carelessness, or cowardice, and redolent of ***.
We stumbled off, our awkwardness—new Keystone comedy.

Huge cloudy symbols blocked the sun; onlookers strained to see.
We said We were the only One. Our gaseous Melody
had made us Joshuas, and so—the Bible, new-rewrit,
with god removed, replaced by Show and Glyphics and Sanskrit,
seemed marvelous to Us, although King Ezra said, “It’s S—t.”

We spent unhappy hours in Our Kingdom of the Pea,
drunk on such Awesome Power only Emperors can See.
We were Imagists and Vorticists, Projectivists, a Dunce,
Anarchists and Antarcticists and anti-Christs, and once
We’d made the world Our oyster and stowed away the pearl
of Our too-, too-polished wisdom, unanchored of the world,
We sailed away to Lilliput, to Our Kingdom by the See
and piped the rats to join Us, to live unmerrily
hereever and hereafter, in Our Kingdom of the Pea,
in the miniature ship Disaster in a jar in Tennessee.

More Nonsense Verse by Michael R. Burch

There was an old man from Peru
who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He awoke in the night
with a terrible fright
to discover his dream had come true.
—Variation on a classic limerick by Michael R. Burch

Although I prefer
to bunions,
begging your pardon sir,
I still primarily defer
to legal ******.
—Michael R. Burch

Anti-Vegan Manifesto
by Michael R. Burch

Let us
avoid lettuce,
and also celery!

Ding **** ...
by Michael R. Burch

for Fliss

An impertinent bit of sunlight
defeated a goddess, NIGHT.
"Hooray!," cried the clover,
"Her reign is over!
But she certainly gave us a fright!"

The Flu Fly Flew
by Michael R. Burch

A fly with the flu foully flew
up my nose—thought I’d die—had to sue!
Was the small villain fined?
An abrupt judge declined
my case, since I’d “failed to achoo!”

The Humpback
by Michael R. Burch

The humpback is a gullet
equipped with snarky fins.
It has a winning smile:
and when it SMILES, it wins
as miles and miles of herring
excite its fearsome grins.
So beware, unwary whalers,
lest you drown, sans feet and shins!

Hell-Bound Hounds
by Michael R. Burch

We have five dogs and every one’s a sinner!
I swear it’s true—they’ll steal each other’s dinner!
They’ll **** before they’re married. That’s unlawful!
They’ll even ***** in public. Eek, so awful!

And when it’s time for treats (don’t gasp!), they’ll beg!
They have no pride! They’ll even **** your leg!
Our oldest Yorkie murdered dear, sweet Olive,
our helpless hamster! None will go to college

or work to pay their room and board, or vets!
When the Devil says, “*** here!” they all yip, “Let’s!”
And yet they’re sweet and loyal, so I doubt
the Lord will dump them in hell’s dark redoubt...

which means there’s hope for you, perhaps for me.
But as for cats? I say, “Best wait and see.”

Menu Venue
by Michael R. Burch

At the passing of the shark
the dolphins cried Hark!;
cute cuttlefish sighed, Gee
there will be a serener sea
to its utmost periphery!
the dogfish barked,
so joyously!;
pink porpoises piped Whee!
But ...
Will there be as much glee
when there’s no you and me?

Kissin’ ’n’ buzzin’
by Michael R. Burch

Kissin’ ’n’ buzzin’
the bees rise
in a dizzy circle of two.
Oh, when I’m with you,
I feel like kissin’ ’n’ buzzin’ too.
Aquila Dec 2019
our love was-
But it is true.
From toadstools upturned
To faerie jinxes,
It is true.
And I know, in my spirit,
That your hand was destined to meet mine.
One way or another.
I think I’ve found a good one. I don’t want to jinx it. But I hope I’ve found a good one. He is so lovely
Ken Pepiton Sep 2019
The Logic of the Toad
at the bottom of the slough of despond
ping ping rain drip

the very elixer of feistiness, they say
make us make use o'the stuff

muscles are best for,
but virtually

estivation is our pre

we wait on geotime for rain
and rise, toadish

to be kist orange by gaseous
exposure to

you, dear reader, a breath of fresh air,
if you cared to even try

to get understanding with it,
as wisdom tickled your

fancy fashionable meme chain.
A bit of something so long that if I were to post it here I fear seeming meme envious wishing for rain
Bhill Aug 2019
Nature can be, savage or kind
Which way does it go; can it be defined

A young toad was trapped by a sprinkler today
His life could have ended and be swept away

I noticed him there and expected him to hop
He was stuck I could see and I needed to stop

The mower, would and could have, swallowed him up
Had I not looked his way and stopped so abrupt

His leg was trapped in a sprinkler retract
In came down quite hard with a vicious impact

I was able to raise it and help the toad out
His pour leg looked broke, in that there's no doubt

I hope that he lives and heals up real quick
I'm glad I could help, the toad I named Rick...!

Brian Hill - 2019 # 197
Yes, this happened.  Quite happy that I was able to help and hopefully sac this little guys life.  Sometimes you just have to pay a little more attention.
Shin Jul 2019
The toad looked to the sunset,
greeted it with a weary croak.
It nestled in, starting its night.
Mundane and filled with peace.

I wonder what it means to be
a toad. Green ridged with gold.

Do his hops hold a destination?
Do his tears hold longing?
Or is it blood, cogs, and gears?

A mind filled with static.

I do not know, and perhaps I never will.
Juhlhaus Jul 2019
O black toad,
Sage of the sodden floor,
Grant me your stoicism
As I go my labored way.
And may you prosper,
Consume legions, grow fat;
Yet deftly elude all
Who would do you injury.
A tribute to the noble toad of the Northwoods.
With each kiss, I expect you to turn this old toad, into a Prince.

But with each kiss, I become a King.
Postal Leo Jan 2019
I'm so messed up, and so ******, but your magical, and amazingly pretty….
And every-time i think about you, I can't help but cry,
Because somehow in God’s plan, I earned you, don’t know how or why.
Your an angel, so divine. Completely holy, sanctified.
We don't, cant. It just doesn't make sense.
But without you i'm just so tense….
I'm just another piece of trash, throw me away.
I can earn your love, one day...

Week in, and my heart can't stop pumping,
God, i hope you never hurt or dump me.
Blood rushes to my head,
If this keeps up, one of us will end up dead!
Saying rash things and having bad ideas.
Except now I have a reason,
Write a song and hope to the day,
That you love this one, like you loved the one i wrote yesterday…
Do anything, long as it’s for you!
Even if you ask completely out of the blue!

God I'm, so, stupidly stressed,
Being away from you for so long, makes me want to go on a quest.
Need to save you, from a giant spiky tortoise,
Dodge his fireballs and continue on, I have a crazy purpose….
Get to your chamber, unlock the doors,
Being told your elsewhere, I fall on all fours.
Readjust my shroomy hat, and off I go,
To save my princess, cause you couldn't find a Mario.
But i don't mind, not in the slightest.
Long as I’m on my quest, I’m covered in your brightness.

I can’t breathe, or think, without you listening.
My heartbeat, near you, is incredibly crippling.
I want to... Will you let me?
I'm in young love, and i can't flee.
Wouldn't want to if i could, i love this Spider’s trap,
I'm so enraptured by it, just like rhyme and rap…
Messed up on adrenaline, and the way your hair smells,
I’m hearing the sound of all the school bells,
Signaling we must be apart yet again,
But my love for you is impossible to comprehend...
So wait for me, dearest, I’ll save you yet!
Until, our love, long this poem, is finished, so never I bet.
SR Nirmal Kumar Oct 2018
Celibate in seclusion
Espouses Spartan austerity
Entombed toad
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