Who are you people ?
What is this place??
It's ...it's incredible... it's amazing !!!
The most amazing thing I've ever seen
   in my whole life
Ha! Ha! Ha! It's mad...yea! it's crazy
It's Night...right!! But here! Here! a
   whole City in broad daylight
People going about their business...
   faces I've never seen before
What is this place! Who are you
   people!

I'm asleep but... but I'm awake, wide
   wide awake
I'm here! Now!!! Looking out... at this
    right here before me
It's strange...'cos I don't feel like I have
   a body or a face
It's like I'm just an Eye...an Eye looking    
   out
But look! I can move, I can move
And I'm tired, tired of these dreams, I've had them before
What good are they, yea! their
   fantastic and all that
But their useless, quite quite useless
You know what I'm gonna do,
I'm gonna go up to one of these guys
   and I'm gonna grab him
Gonna shake him! Shake him hard!!! Make him help me.

So I go up to one of them, this guy, and he turns and
   looks at me
He looks right at me...
"Back in my world", I say, " back there,
   I work, I suffer, I struggle
Every day trying to keep body and
   soul together
Can you help me? Won't you help me?
   Won't you..."
And... and he looks at me with these...
   these anxious eyes
With real fear in his eyes
I say "What do you see when you look
   at me.  What do you see ?
(A mortal man from the world of men)
Why do you suddenly look so afraid ?
What... what do you see !!!"

waking up with the morning sun

makeup still on from the night before

eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep

"it's too early for this" I mutter as I lay tangled in these raspberry colored sheets, tossing and turning hoping to shade myself from any glimmer of responsibility

but it doesn't work

mutual confusion

mutual pain

we've been here countless times before

I had work in the morning, and it was nearly 6am

it was too early in the morning

but we stayed up and talked instead of going to bed

"i'm tired", she tells him
"it's not that I don't want to live,
i simply wish,
to not exist."

and i ache just thinking about it
all those times i needed you and you walked right out the door.
all the soft and tender midnight words i dreamed you had whispered in my ears that were soon replaced with cold lifeless ones.

and i ache

i ache for all the times my heart skipped a beat just to get thrown down the stairs

i ache remembering all those nights that i would lie awake
    alone.
right next to you.

        begging
to be touched
to be looked at
to be held
to be seen
to be felt
in all the throbbing places
inside of
    me
just one little kiss
one kind word
a moment of softness
   some sort of mercy


and i ache. i shiver and shake

        i cry and wonder when i’ll get a break

i cry and wonder when i’ll get a break.

the repetitive days grow tiring
so extremely uninspiring
as i remember the times when things were so simple
where we had smiles so big you saw dimples
the dusty chalk left on the porch stairs
the house's unfinished repairs
the creak of the wooden doors
the kitchen's tiled floors
the chipped paint on the walls
and none of it bothered me at all
my mind held no worries
my heart was never in a hurry
oh, to go back to the days
my teary eyes look back in a gaze,
looking back on the shadow that it once was
i want my adrenaline rushing from running too fast
i want the green stained knees from sliding on the grass
i want to taste the salty tears on my cheeks from scraping my knees
i want the calluses from climbing sticky trees
i want the brush burn from going down the static-feeling slide
even if the bruises and scratches make me cry
i would go back in a heartbeat
because those days were oh so sweet
being a kid on Grape Street

©L.F.