I listen to the sounds of the night.
It shadows everything but my plight.
Silhouette of dreams cloud my subconscious.
While memories  claw their way up making me nauseous.

You see life is like a hard pill to swallow. It's necessary and sometimes the pain dulls and makes you hollow.

In these moments I call bliss.
In these moments that I fear.
Because the numbness is sometimes too great, that even my mind gets scared.

The pleasure of nothingness that yearns for something. The immediate void that leaves you wanting.

But sometimes the numbness is what makes things okay. Just a second away from the pain that haunts me.

Walking a fine line of content and nonchalance. But when the pain comes back, somethingness wishes for the numbness that it lost.

Sometimes I feel like a ghost floating through life. Wanting to touch and feel but things just pass by.

My grip on reality is feeble. Loosening by the second as I teeter on the line.

But I can't ask for help because I'm supposed to be fine. I'm supposed to able to handle the struggle life throws my way, because even though I know pain is a subjective spectrum I still don't feel like I should complain.

My heart is confused my spirit is tired. The passion that once lives in my eyes has expired.

I know not of how to fix it and sometimes I'm scared that I can't because the word failure lives in me like it's my own personal chant.

So I listen to the night hoping it'll chase away my demons. Because the light only provides me more time to see them.