When she looks at me
I forget how to breath
When she smiles at me
I feel like I fall
Her short, fluffy, brown hair
Framing her face
Her hazel eyes
Filled with stars
I don’t know why I never noticed
The way she smiles
And the way she laughs
But now I can’t get it out of my head
I will never have the privilege to call you mine.
I will never hold you in my arms.
I will never kiss you.
I will never have those long talks in the middle of the night with you.
I will never wake up laying next to you.
I will see you being happy without me.
With someone that isn’t me.
And I just have to accept that we were never meant to be.
I am feeling empty
like the trees
that have thrown off
Late night texts
Tear filled eyes
there's a reason why its called a crush
Why do I feel empty
When I've had plenty?
Didn't know when to take the last shot
Or when it was enough
All I want to do is to give up
No more strength in my body
To lift a single cup
Always trying to be someone I'm not
I've grown tired of pretending
And tired of existing.
I am empty
I am lost
I am broken.
I am sad and I am miserable
But no one listens to me
Please just listen to me!
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Just listen to me.
I miss your eyes when they sparkle of joy
I miss your smile when it lights up my world
I miss your voice when you tell me you care
I miss the thought of you just being there
I'm longing for the feeling of your touch
The feeling of being in your arms and knowing I'm enough
I'm longing for you to pull me close
And place feathery kisses on the front of my nose.
I want you to lock your lips on mine
And you to tell me that we'll be just fine
I want you to hold me tight
And to love me with all your might.
I wish I could tell you how I really feel
But we both have layers that we still need to peel
Before I can open up completely
And our encounters can be more than just briefly.
I wish I could tell you all this
Everything at once and not only in small bits
I wish I wouldn't only imagine
And that I would be your only attraction.
Cause I can't stand the feeling of being far from you
Yet I can't close the distance that's between us two
Seeing another in your embrace
I can't help the tears from falling down my face.
Wishing your words were more than empty
And that we'd talk when you had less than plenty
But I guess my wishes will never be heard
Leaving me to miss you with only half a heart.
The moment that I met you
Was the moment I let myself
Drown in your eyes
And drown in your words
Unable to breath
But not willing to swim to the surface
Scared of losing you?
Or scared of losing myself?
Why am I afraid?
Am I actually suffering?
The cold water is a comfort
Flowing around me and hugging me
Not being able to breath
I can give up
If it means I can be this close to you
And let myself drown in your eyes
The moment that I met you
Was the moment I saw a light
You gave me a smile
And I saw something shine so very bright
You gave me hope
You gave me comfort
You gave me a light
You gave me something bitter and sweet.
Sweet and bitter.
Joy but still fear
Fear of losing myself?
Or fear of losing you?
But why am I still afraid?
Afraid of drowning?
Afraid of fighting and reaching the surface?
Feeling the light slowly vanishing
And the darkness creeping up
Being ****** farther and farther down
The surface farther and farther away
Why can't i swim?
Even though I really want to?.
I want to breath
I want to fight
I want to see and feel your light
But i guess it's too late now
It's dark down here.
The water is cold
And it is hurting my skin
My lungs are filled with water
I'm unable to breath
I am afraid of drowning
Now I know for sure
I should have done this
I should have done that
I should have put my trust in you
And given in to you.
Now I have nothing left
Now I have lost myself
And the worst part is
That I have lost you as well.