Are you as sad as your eyes,
Those dull blue eyes that
tell me you're carrying a dead love
like a heavy carcass
everywhere you go

Are you as weak as your lungs,
those tar-stained lungs that
I thought were going to give out
when you stopped holding your tears back

Are you as lost as your voice,
that husky voice that seemed to crack
and fade out, carrying unfinished sentences
as if you had been gagged

I'm sorry,
I cannot hold your heart for you,
wrapped in velvet to keep safe
when you keep letting her
                                            tear it
                                            tear it
                                            tear it apart
like the beer mats that you abused

in times of pain
in times of harsh
i give you heart,
shelter from rain
so ask again
why do i try
when you are blind
of my demise.

Well I'll tell you cats about an impossible feat
Why every single night I have to wrestle myself to sleep
It's because the ghosts of regret won't admit defeat,
When I get under the covers they wake up and bother me
Every mistake. Every pain. Non on the sunshine all the rain
Then there's the fact I'm on medication
Which silently causes the liver devastation
Oh, you didn't know this but I suffer from epilepsy.
So I have to consume pills on the daily
So there you have it, a rundown of why I can't sleep.
Although I should note I'm blessed to have a bed on which to lie my head and feet

didn't know each other
very well

source of love
happy through hell

what the ****
was your problem
our problem

was it me
against your mind

was it the fakeness
you couldn't hide

discovered today
the aching pain

to think
you used your brain

but i, not too smart
i used my stupid heart

to believe in my dreams
come alive and please

but i forgot, not everyone
is ready to believe
in dreams

It’s my fault
I shouldn’t have found meaning in anything
I shouldn’t have believed any of your words that could implant hope
I shouldn’t have thought that you driving two hours to pick me up meant anything
I shouldn’t have seen any significance in your kiss
I shouldn’t have believed that sleeping together meant something
I shouldn’t have thought that you holding my hand meant anything
I shouldn’t have thought your telling me a happy ending to a story similar to ours meant love.
I shouldn’t have hoped that you would defy the world around us
I shouldn’t have trusted your words that said I was the only one you wanted to see
I shouldn’t have believed your honest eyes
I shouldn’t have thought you meant it when you said you missed me
I shouldn’t have been surprised when you ignored me
I shouldn’t have done any of these things
And I knew better
But it doesn’t change that my heart is breaking worthy of the Richter scale
And I shouldn’t let my world crumble before me, but
This feels like a force of nature under which I will be crushed.

oh my darling!
you make my head spin ever so wildly
drown me in wine
yell that you love me!
as i trace a master piece on your back with my fragile fingers

and they'll call us both mad
the lovers that danced until their feet crumbled
( though you claim you cannot dance )
as we will disregard them all, humanity, and however cliche our midnight rambles may become

I feel good, I feel like if I could find you, we could kiss all night
I think you'd like that version of me,
I think you'd love me with no clothes
I want to reveal who I never was to you,
I want to make you blush, get you drunk on not just alcohol
And we could kiss all night
I won't dare
Feel
A
Thing
Because I won't fall apart, oh no no no

Drowning,
I am Drowning.
As water fill my lungs,
There is a pounding.
As my life comes into perspective,
and i FINALLY understand.
Stupidly, my last thought is:
"Oh, I am finally dying."