“I am stubborn,
Stubborn enough to the point that if you decide to break my heart,
I’d still love you with all the pieces,
I’d still choose you over and over,
Yes, I am just stubborn like that,
—To the point of numbness and self-destruction.”

You may be stubborn
You may be sweet
You may be the kind of person I want to meet
But until you stay with words unspoken
These walls I built will be left unbroken.

I was told not to give away
My heart and devotion
For I've watched people
Got their heart crippled

But, love,
My dear love
Tell me what shall I do
When there's nothing else
I understand
Than being in love
With you?

You, my love, are amazing.
Your laugh is like a sweet candy for the ears.
Your smile melts my heart.
When you look at me, i can only stare at what i want to be.
What i have always dreamed of having.
When you call me "Boo" or "Babygirl" all i can think of is how you have chosen me
me
to be your lover,
your partner
the one to show your love to.
im amazed at your beauty
by your stubbornness.
And i love every piece of it.
I love you baby

Following Friday's sins,
I'd usually sleep in.
That Saturday Mammy called up;
There was Daddy dripping blood,
Clinging to his thumb.
He was stubborn.
He sat back,
I drove fast,
And left him in emerg.
Hours later,
Back at home,
The phone.
The power switch
Was already off,
But on the floor,
Next to the saw,
I saw the thumb
Lying strangely alone,
The skin, the nail, the bone.
He died incomplete.
His stump was a talisman.
Grandkids got a kick from it
Asking him to count to ten.

You see, I like putting things down
My desk remains as cluttered
as my confusing social dance card
so I'm always dropping something
Things have always felt clumsy
in my hands
rather
I have always found the act of holding
to be clumsy
A sentence structure
a train of thought
a plan, slippery

Even now, it feels better
to lean over the notebook laying open
on my stomach level bed and
simply spill
these insecurities
and analytic gratuities
onto the page
rather than house their possibilities
for even one more second

And we both know
that as the ink dries on the page
it ***** all of the you out of the air
that otherwise would, and now again will, taste so stale
And I only said we both know
because that one sounds a lot better
with some backup
And maybe for the same reason
that I have never seen my father ask for directions
I feel much better knowing where I left the compass
than which way is north
And maybe for the same reason
that some things we talked about were never said
I feel like these messages can carry these encryptions
flimsy as they may be
But maybe they cannot.

I have oh so many thoughts and feelings,
Hundreds and thousands,
Millions and billions,
But can i put them into words?
No
Not at all
*Never