the sun god reaches out for me
index finger, a fiery beam
to claim my heart again
for the new day
for today's sunset
for tomorrow's sunrise
pierce the indigo cloak
rip it out through broken ribs
the prison bars asunder
claw it out from me
and make me cling
to dear life
compelled to fight
find in strife
what I lost in comfort

Unrecognizable
I'll never see her the same way again
Instead -
I'll loathe her from my side of the bed
And it builds more each day I have to bear
Her crimes on my back
It's my shame too
Cheating and stealing like she was never really human
But she must have been human once
Otherwise
Why would I have fallen for her?
Why do I still see truth in her lying eyes?
Why do I still hold on tight?
Like she'll ever appreciate my time
My effort like the ****** rivers in my veins
Run for her.
Now from her.
We run from her now
Here in this hard head.
I'll never feel the same again.
I'll never love you again.

I have these
Moments
Where you look me in the eyes
You could be a stranger,
A friend
My family
Yet I turn away
And my skin tingles
The hair on my neck rises
I wish you would just go away
And now
I wish
I could disappear

Day after day
I was learning
that the yearning
and pain would never go away
That I was a bent rod
a traveler so long
lost along a road
so wrong...
I was seeing clearer
the shattered lad in my mirror
manacled in horror
of echos of the past
reverberating through the threads
of time,
a man cursed
to forever shiver in cold of desolation
and to always seek consolation
in the glamour of rhyme
yet never mind
that he'd never find...
Day after day
I was learning
that the clouds of strife
in my life
would always be the blanket
that stops my Sun from shining
and that my trumpet
was bound to rust
as no one would bear
their lips on dust...
none would love me enough to dare.
as I were a flower in the wild
growing on shitload piled...
a heart punched and filed
a destiny's child
a million pieces compiled
on a future defiled.
I was a forgotten dream
a dried up stream-
cracks instead of Adam's ale
a snail without a shell
corpse pale...
I was my own hell,
strange
they said things would change,
that time would tell...
yet there was nothing left
to be told of my story
though I wasn't one to feel sorry
as I'd been through more ****
than I could spit.

Empty heart
Empty head
Never start
Never said

These together
These apart
Won’t just leave
Won’t depart

Endless wonder
Endless strife
Pointless persons
Pointless life

Words in piles
Words foreshadow
Silence weighs
Silence shadow

and none  evade this
Pain
     Pain
           Pain

Help me eat

this grain of life

my back aches, terribly

from this immortal strife



sit with me

on this legless chair

let us relate

let us share

we shall live

in the same air

let us combine

our melting despair



A life that tastes good

but doesn't satisfy hunger



- Kaya