(the most thought-provoking thing in the world is a soul--)

skin cracks
mud ***** on his feet
shuffles when he moves
barely hanging on
so thin

dry, rough
the skin breaks
but does not bleed

he is rusty
flakes off slowly

he could tell me that he's gone mad
that it's a slow and painful way to go
could say he cannot handle the itch
drives him to hysteria
can't i take him out of his misery

and i would,
but i won't

(that is not dying,
but growing)

Some smiles are merely
a motion,
skin stretching to
cover
a thought
inflicted wound.

Come a little closer and you will soon see
Run your fingers along the cracked parts of me

The cracks etch my thighs, hips, and *******
Each crevice: white, purple, and ruby red

What once was flat and smooth has changed
Bulges and ripples: new landscape

Voices continue to point my flaws out to me
The mirror screams failure; I choose recovery

Previously, these porcelain walls were kept neat
Prim and polished on the inside – pink squeaky clean

Now, this doll is filled with laughter and cheesecake
But the cracks in my mask are all on display

He tells me he loves every part of me
And stretched skin is a part of my story

But I cannot tell if I’m breaking my “perfect” shell
Or if I want to go back to my personal hell

The very second I put down my pen,
I began my process all over again.
I've been getting up at 7 o'clock (am).
Why?
Such a dangerous question.
If I were to wonder why
I comb my hair, I'd have the answer.
If I asked myself why eat meals
at 7:30, 12:00, and 5:00,
I'd have an answer.
But I don't know why I have answers.
Why do I care when I eat and
how presentable I appear?
I fear someday I'll wake up and
ask why I should wear pants, or
why even stand?
That day, I might crawl to the
front porch, and carry a
newspaper and slippers to the dog.

Everything makes you wonder if you're good enough,
if you measure up.
But your standards are impossibly high for yourself.

Bars you can never reach,
but you stretch.
Stretch yourself so thin...
Just to get to it anyways.

Now it's time for the comparisons to stop.
To pull yourself back together and,
unstretch undoubt, unhide.

The best anyone can ever be is happy with themselves.