it did not make
me stronger,

it made me break
in new ways
every single time
it trespassed,

it made me adapt
to itself,
camouflage it with its
very antithesis,

and when it had left,
it made me unable to
be the same person I was
before meeting it,

everything but it
felt unwarranted,
barely recognizable
unbearable.

My hand caught a star
It ran between my fingers
Glittering like rain

Nightfall - time for a walk in the green
silence -  the noisy day has gone to sleep
finally I am on my own - no more avoiding by zig zag runs

I take off my protection mask and a deep breath -
summer air and the scent of a freshly mowed meadow,  
familiar and normal.....

In the  distance a falling stars lights up

and I remember the taste of white clouds  
and the sound of laughing butterflies
                                                     ­                         

Everything will be alright

on a hot july night
i remember looking up to the sky
and getting lost in its stars
and how they would twinkle
almost like a quaint little village during christmas, or
a sea of fireflies in the forest.
but even the brightest star
held nothing over you
and the way your eyes would glow in the 6am sunlight
or how you could see every star inside your eyes.
their glow was enough to light up 1000 cities in their darkest hour.

it’s like you were the universe
and i was merely a speck
who got to experience your beauty,
and so i extended my hand to you
only to be met
with the emptiness that had taken its place.

i had been forbidden from your touch for more days than i could count.
but i still reach for you hand
hoping
that one day you will be there to meet my grasp.
and wether it be in the 6am sunlight, or the 10pm moonlight,
i only wish to love you as i did
once before