I want to scream
but my chest constricts
and I cannot breathe because I feel like
I will breathe myself in
and collapse
in on myself
like a dying star but I'm not a star,
I'm a failure
a black hole
and even when I can see the string of snot dripping out of my nose
I can't stop crying I can't stop crying
and it slows and stops
and then comes back full force and
I can't stop crying I can't stop crying
******* in breaths
as I hear her in the next room,
clicking and clanging away,
busy in every way she’s supposed to be
and I hear her in my head
even when she isn’t there-
and it’s always always always
how inadequate I am-
while I hide
in my room,
under my best friends,
the bedsheets,
crying and tapping away,
documenting every little thing I never have the confidence to say
to her or to anyone
******* in breaths
a black hole
my mind
bright
but dark
absorbing
every bad thing
she's ever said about me.

Cursing like they diamond but
they don't even cut glass..
   Holding wraps of cash, but the top and
bottom be 50's but the rest is the monopoly
that they can't even pay...


They are burning rubber on the expense,
  but they rented, they dent...  
          Paying back on the record company.
You sold 50 thousand but you owe
                                                   a hundred grand.

They ain't going to shoot out you knee caps,
         there just going to gang-**** your voice..
Thinking you original, swallow that pride,
you one of there cash cows,  
           they milking you, can you say Moo!!!
******* around making the milk sour.

They'll just pressure bolt you
lobotomized, on the industry you either overdose,
             or working at KFC..  

Think you had grills now sold off to pay
the rent, the only thing you can afford is
a tin foil grill and you only cooking,
                                                 is burgers...

"Hi sir can I take your order,

Even if you are a small unknown star...

The universe may ignore you;

Yet, you are my only sunshine...

You lit my heart with lights...

You are my star;

Visible only for my love!

Imagine they cut off your limbs
Hand and legs, all gone
But you’re a starfish
So it’s alright, they’ll grow back.
No wait, you’re a tree.
Once they cut you,
You lose a piece of yourself.
Those broken remains,
They use them
They use you, to build houses,
To build a warm space,
To protect them from the harsh storm.
If you were a starfish though,
Your limbs will start to grow
Slowly, but surely. And suddenly,
You’ll be your old self again,
Nothing more, nothing less.
A star in the sea
Or a tree in the wild,
Which would you be?

The sun beam strikes your face
As you squint at the light rays
Yet your eyes seem to have a star line
Very soft, gentle, and sweet
Yet stern, sharp, and deep
I cannot seem to leave your gaze
Maybe I should accept my faith
And make you wonder what’s on my mind

1.
drooping animal eyes made of
wildfire

forested heartbeats
spun into magma seas
of future regeneration

carbon crisis kindling
awaiting

extinguish me
with the balled-fist
of the angry present

2.
awakened
morning dewdrop
universe

surrounding us

pillars of infant dust
coalescing

sweet starlight kisses
arcing over the meadow

as we race into
the smoky twilight

barefooted
and aware

3.
I spoke
to your body
with only my eyes

cardboard cutouts
of childhood

softening in the rain

a simple gingerbread house
inside my head

a rippling pond
thirsty with relaxation

******* rings
easing into oblivion

as we touched
and told our skin

everything we ever
needed to know

Star flower shine so bright
Star flower light up the night

Star flower next to the moon
Star flower grow and bloom

Star flower warm to the heart
Star flower with colors of art

Star flower sings with love
Star flower raise up above