Maybe I went a hair too far
And maybe should have cared a little more
Maybe I said some things I shouldn't,
But you said you loved me for my candor
I was never one to apologize
And I hate that about myself
But even so I’ll never call you back
Or collect my things from your shelf.
Just know I’ll not forget
The time we spent together apart
Talking about poetry silently
And bashing modern art.
Did you see the signs?
That I valued time most when I spent it alone?
That I love that Keats quote,
“The poet has no identity of his own.”?
For even this is a manufactured feeling
I tell a lot of lies
I never had a loved one
And I live a lot of lives.

This very day I was snatched from the edge,
My toes were just teetering over the ledge,
My mind is as clear as a brand new fish bowl,
Yet I made preparations to cease with this toll.

A mixture of chemicals, low mood and fear,
Made me think I no longer want to be here,
While I love all who know me, doesn't prevent,
Stop the world, let me off, I'm done paying rent.

But a voice on the line tricked me into defeat,
Using guilt tactics, promises, lies and deceit,
So I'm back to the lull of survival mode now,
For a while at least, step off the ledge, silly cow...


(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2019