Maybe I went a hair too far
And maybe should have cared a little more
Maybe I said some things I shouldn't,
But you said you loved me for my candor
I was never one to apologize
And I hate that about myself
But even so I’ll never call you back
Or collect my things from your shelf.
Just know I’ll not forget
The time we spent together apart
Talking about poetry silently
And bashing modern art.
Did you see the signs?
That I valued time most when I spent it alone?
That I love that Keats quote,
“The poet has no identity of his own.”?
For even this is a manufactured feeling
I tell a lot of lies
I never had a loved one
And I live a lot of lives.

This very day I was snatched from the edge,
My toes were just teetering over the ledge,
My mind is as clear as a brand new fish bowl,
Yet I made preparations to cease with this toll.

A mixture of chemicals, low mood and fear,
Made me think I no longer want to be here,
While I love all who know me, doesn't prevent,
Stop the world, let me off, I'm done paying rent.

But a voice on the line tricked me into defeat,
Using guilt tactics, promises, lies and deceit,
So I'm back to the lull of survival mode now,
For a while at least, step off the ledge, silly cow...


(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2019

It’s really disheartening
The way people are being
They only love you at the beginning
And they chew you up the next thing
They spit you out after they use you
They forget everything right that you do
They take your air until you turn blue
Turns out, people are worse than you knew

It’s really disappointing
The way spiders keep you spinning
They bind you up till you’re hurting
Keep you in a shelf until they start eating
They make you wait for your death
Mercilessly, they take your last breath
What’s worse is you don’t even have a death bed
Your awake but all of you is spent

Like a lake without water
Like a pen without a paper
They left me like this, more alone than ever
I just wish I could be happier
But I promise myself, this is the last time
I’ll never again let them take what’s mine
My sanity is all that is left in my mind
And I’ll bury it somewhere even I can’t find