Lying on the floor
Trying to get cold
Burning on the inside
Nausea plaguing me
Head spinning
Up in the sky
Can't feel this mortal body

A single tear drops
The first drop
Signaling the rainstorm

Trembling violently
Unable to stop myself
Slipping away

Hearing voices
The ground leaving me
I'm being lifted

In arms so strong
I am silent
Hiding in the chill of my bones
Laying still
Heart beating

Grasping tightly to a cord
Loosening
Then staying just that
Loose, yet there

Healed
Back on my feet
Wishing, halfheartedly,
That I had let go

Then again
The other half cries in relief
So glad it remained

Pulled in
Heart beating
Words mumbled
Feeling in my hands fleeting
Unsure what shall win

Then suddenly
All is gone
I find myself eased
Over time
I realize;
Someone cares

- Jay M
April 24th, 2019

A blue morning on the 46a to Stillorgan.
I get emotional gliding past the little orange town house. I've passed it every day for two years but this time it feels different.

I can smell your walls and furniture.
Can taste the breakfast you'd surprise me with after a long night of dancing and love making.
Can feel your head on my shoulder as you hold me at the kitchen counter.

You kiss my stomach.

On our last morning, you had driven me to college. Me, eating nutella and banana toast and you watching the roads too carefully. You had just gotten your license. Fionn Regan played softly.

I want someone that will make me fall deeply in love and make me feel all the things that we read in the books.
Someone that will come with me to art galleries and be my inspiration to paint.
Someone with who I will sit on balconies, waiting for the sunset ,and won't ask me why I take photos of it every day because he'll see the beauty of it like I do.
Someone with who laying all day in bed in the winter days ,watching our favorite movies it's going to be enough.
Someone with who I can get drunk and dance all night to our favorite songs.
Someone that will stay awake with me counting the stars and talking about our deepest desires and fears.
Someone who will travel around the world with me and visit every city we have ever dreamed of.
Someone with who there won't be anything more perfect than coffee and pancakes in the morning.
Someone with who I won't be scared to let all my devils out.
Someone who won't make me wonder how they feel about me.
Someone who will understand me.
Someone who won't make me feel like I'm not good enough.
Someone who will believe in me even when I don't .
Someone who will make me forget all the problems and will make me truly happy.
But that someone is too perfect to be more than a dream. Isn't it?