I have never felt more hatred toward another human being
than I do toward myself.
The only question I have been able to ask myself these past few months
is “what the **** are you doing?”
and I do not have an answer.
I have been carrying this weight for so long that
I have forgotten how it feels to be free.
I am a prisoner of war
inside my own ******* head,
and I am no longer sure of what I am fighting for.
Do not call me a soldier.
I am not a hero,
I am a coward.
I am weak.
Point a rifle to my head.
Do not prepare your bayonets,
I will not struggle.
Close my eyes when the light fades from them.
Do not let me see what I’ve left behind.

My father served in peace
My grand dads served in war
I come from a long line
Of service.

I wanted to serve
I wanted to fight
But then I found out
A woman couldn't march
On the front lines.

I'm older now
The laws have changed
I believe
I have changed
I want a degree
A family
Bravery  just isn't in my name.

When the heart is stilled,
and our eyes are blind.
   When our limbs are lead,
and our hands are chained and numb.

   Keep your eyes open,
Use the pain to stay alive.
   Protect your Allies son,
protect them with your life.

   Get them out of the dark,
and lead them into the light.
   Protect your comrades son,
Protect them with your life.

  *  Even if only one of you can
leave this fiery Hell.*
   If even only one of you survives
then a victory has been one!
  
   For they cannot stop you child,
If together you stand and fight!
   Fight for your rights my Child,
Fight to live your life!

    Fight for what you believe in Son,
fight for what you know is right.
   Defend your brothers and Sisters son,
protect what you hold most tight.

    You know your lives are ending,
as you stand and fight.
   But as you lay here dying,
You see him striding through the light.

   He stands tall and strong now,
the Boy now a man,
   Not a child in any's eyes,
Standing tall in the light.

   With his Infantry behind him,
he blasted all enemies in sight.
   When the others saw him they burst into tears,
For their arrival also washed away their fears.

We watch a separate life
Our souls colliding only half the time.
Fighting in the way a soldier dies.
I used to love the way you lied
Bent the truth in a way a hungry man survives.
But it took fourteen times of broken eyes
Corrupted from a lack of trying times
To block out hateful words of a man
Forcing little girls to fake a lovely laugh.

A body lies broken
On the freeway ramp curb.
A man once stood there
Asking for help
With his cardboard cutout
Plea for societal mercy.
Then a car sped too fast,  
Swerving to make the green light
It was never going to catch
In this dimension or any other.

Just a moment was all it took.

Did you know he was a soldier
Who was haunted at night
By the enclosed confines of his house
Because it too closely resembled
The urban landscape he fought in,
Faced death in, lost friends in,
Got caught in until the web of his mind
Couldn't ever forget it
Especially when he tried to sleep at night?

Did you know he came back
And tried to fit in to the community
He had been born and raised in
But found that the stares and glances
Of wonder and horror laced
With misunderstanding and pity
He didn't need but couldn't escape
Were too much for him to bear
Because though he could
Look the enemy in the eye
It hurt too much to see
His own father couldn't meet his,
And a community takes its cues
On how to treat its people
From those closest to them,
So, soon no one would look him in the eye?

Did you know all that when you passed
Where he stood every day on the curb
Asking for your pity and spare change,
Having become the uttermost disgrace
In his own eyes,
Because don't you know
He used to be somebody?

Did you know that today,
When you made a split second
Choice to speed up the turn,
He'll be buried in the National Cemetery
With an honor guard
And a three rifle volley salute,
But the chairs will be empty
And no one will speak kind words for him,
Because he's already been forgotten?

How else could you run over him,
And drive off with not a glance back??

My conclusion: you're a ******!

As the world is shaking beneath my feet like the rumbling crunch of a volcano, my eyes glaze over.
The fright of death is more crippling to me, and more a presence in my soul than my own beating heart.
Stuck frozen as if all the time of the Earth had stopped to watch for itself.
The bellowing cries of plea from my brothers, fallen to the ground.
The grip I have of reality is fast overwhelmed by the chaos of the dying.
My thoughts trembling in my mind as the very air around me purges sense from my bones.
I fall.
Upward looking to the dark greyness that’s become the mid day sky.
A sky alive with fire and smoke, and all manner of flying things.
Silence encompasses me for the first time in what seems like a lifetime.
I breathe, breathe as though every breath is a symphony requiring tireless thought.
My purposeful pause between each cycle, I listen to the drum of my heart bursting through my chest and ears.
I hear the dying. I hear the crying.
Taunting clatter and pounding overhead condemning us to the mud beneath.
Still and broken I lie.
I hear the dying. I hear the crying.
A wave of force ripples to my side nudging me, burning my body.
Scattered parts of wood and ash, bone and rock sprinkle awash down on my face.
Choking, my stomach flutters.
I hear the dying. I hear the crying.
My eyes open with questionable recognise.
My bedroom ceiling, calm and content.
My wife’s hand upon my chest, a question of soft remorse to my wellness.
My brothers, where are you?
I hear the dying. I hear the crying.

Shoulder to shoulder you bands of brothers landed.
Code name Operation Neptune was underway.
You noble breed, not knowing what lay ahead
Just knowing that your duty was called upon.
The bugle sounded, you all answered the call
nobly you waded those waters for all.
06/06/1944 was the day.
The largest seaborne invasion in history.
Yet, you brothers in arms were not caring of history making
Just making it to the beach, alive.
I can but humbly thank you for what you all did that day,
you that lived and those that died.
What thoughts must have played in your mind.
A lone piper played throughout, what courage you all displayed.
No wonder we that came after you, leave you feeling dismayed.
Many wars have been fought since, their courage is also undenied,
but, you, you thousands on those beaches showed the world the meaning
of pride, respect and warrior.
On the beaches of Utah, Omaha, Gold, Juno and Sword,
you carved a way in. To end the war.
Nobler people I doubt exist, and soon this 70th anniversary
will fade in time, but not that date of June the sixth (1944)