"My heart started beating again, the shattered pieces trying to meld together, instead they continued to cut into my lungs, leaving me breathless, fresh out of air. Choking and sobbing, denial was so ready at my fingertips, I could slip away into this unconsciousness so easily and pretend for another day, so I did, again and again."

happy cry, happy cry, happy cry
maybe i'll just sob my "happiness" out
happy cry, happy cry, happy cry
i'll comfort myself without making a sound

Dark wave pulling me under
Dark wave filling my lungs
Dark wave ceasing my breath
Dark wave holding me hostage

Battling them wicked demons
They puncture the fabric of my soul
Using their horns to injure and harm
Leaving my sanity in pieces and shreds

Opaqueness and void paints my everyday
Grey fog envelops my clarity
Storm clouds gather to drench me
And whisk me away in it's murky waters

I don't know who I am
I don't understand why I exist
If there is no purpose there is no point
Living is just a waste of time

It takes a lifetime to know someone.
Knowing someone is like plucking the petals of a rose,
Only to realize there is more to the picture.

Everyday I learn more and more about you;
You are one of those novels I will keep reading on my own till the last word.

Even though my friend gave me a spoiler,
I don't care, I will wait for the words to spell out of your mouth, off the pages I mean.

But,
What if you are not the rose afterall?
.
‌what if you are like an onion,
whom I peel everytime trying to know you,
Only to realize my eyes are sobbing even more.

happy father’s day
to the man who stole my soul
you danced with the devil
and held my hand as you did  
forced me to stand on your
unpolished shoes and sway
i sobbed as the song of life mocked me

When melancholy besets
And memories strike
When roses lost in books
Turn into silver spikes

When you hear the sobbing sounds
From the walls of your room
And the world around you
Feels like a perpetual doom

When you feel that you’re trapped
And that you’re a lost cause
When people close to you
Laugh at your blemish and flaws

When you can not see a way
And all your hope disappears
I want you to read this poem
And know that someone cares