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How She Loved Me

After she broke her neck, the diagnosis advised her to
avoid all moving when she could.
Once she agreed, three vertebrae were fused together,
and a cushion braced her instead of us.
We were not allowed.

Days passed. Weeks passed. Maybe three.

She sat in her chair and rocked and rocked
and rocked – until the hinges snapped, too.
The repairman repeated those two words:
Don’t. Move.

I avoided her after that – ran right past her when I could –
let my legs leap and fly and bend and breathe.
But even my knees knew how she watched,
how she waited for me to look.

I only did once.

On the day the sky became a lake,
she walked onto the deck like a dock,
threaded the wind with her fingers,
rose her chest when she breathed,
and bounced onto the trampoline.

She stretched and sprung and skipped into a flip
only stopping to giggle about her favorite rollercoasters.

And I stood still to listen.
I stood still and watched.
Wuji Seshat Oct 2014
I can lecture on the darkness
I’ve tasted shadows like burnt milk
I can lecture on the shadow

I’ve tasted her tongue-dried appetite
The way she cowers in fear
For what is new, in confronting change
I am older now, more fragile
Being had, enjoying how love decays

I’ve grown simpler in these hours
Dying, a bit each day
Though I admire great things that

Can somehow outlive their maker
Even if they have a false shine
As most human things do
And have a tinge of exaggerated
Self-importance, their relatively silly grandeur

I can lecture on the cruelty of men
And the sadism of women
Who care more for clan and religion

Than any real human goodness
We live in ignorant times
And the world is growing more illiterate
Each year, but that is not my affair
The disgrace of catalyst has yet to unfold
And how I shun the self-righteousness
Of the young, what they don’t know yet….
Melissa Moreno Oct 2014
I want to enjoy life, more than ever before. I want to work out, run marathons without worrying about getting a t-shirt or an Instagram like. I want to sweat this **** off like in the game of life.
I want to indulge whatever I want. I'm craving all types of food and feel like having something from the nearest untrustworthy food stand, sit, eat and belch like an ''I won *****'' paean. Maybe I could go vegan for a day, or try the disgusting raw food challenge or switch it later to become a fast food nasty piggish *****. Food shouldn't be feared, it shouldn't make you sick nor fat. I don't even care about my shape like I used to, food is there to be lustly enjoyed before it is pooped, my friends. I don't mind if I'm slim or fat for the first time in my life yet I still in a pseudo imposed diet and nobody knows why.
Oh God! I want to jump in the water cold or hot, who cares? sunny or cloudy, who gives a dime? Better yet, I want to jump out off a plane for skydiving and feel I'm flying free, high, higher than my thoughts and fears. I want to drink and celebrate as if it were my birthday, and toast to wisdom rather than to wrinkles. I want to dance like the whole world is watching, flashing me and tagging me.
I want all that. I want to spend all the money I have on dresses, hippie, elegant, short, longs and even see through ones but I just want to forget about ''saving for a house'', ''saving for a future that might never come.
Oh man, I want to do more things than I even dared to in my beautiful early twenties. I actually think I should have done more, dared more, even gotten laid more. Why not?
But this stupid sickness has turned me into a trapped bird on an infamous spell. Right after a click, I'm just a free bird in a cage, trapped in a white four-wall safety room whether it is home or work. This right here is a bird which lamely admires people living their life outside and watching the clock inside ticking ''it's one more minute of prison'' going by and by and by like a stream of water in my sweaty hands. That' s where a stupid sickness can drag ones life on, trapped in a safe yet hermetic & suffocating bag. Usually, the NY Times articles, writing drafts and camera lenses from my balcony alleviate this and convince me it is not too bad. But it actually is very bad. and God knows I'm getting tired of this.
If life is a game, if this life is a game, then someone has to lose while the other wins.
Will abracadabra inscribed on an amulet make me win? If Roman emperor Caracalla prescribed that malaria sufferers wear an amulet containing the word written in the form of a triangle in order to get healed.
I trust the man. I just want to be free.
Makenzie Marie Oct 2014
And so I watch
And I listen
as faithful friend after friend excuses themselves
with their funny excuses
and I laugh
at the joke that the fates have whispered to me
No one else seems to hear it
It’s not quite so funny, you see.
The pitter patter of the pity
You can hear it, you see
You can see it, actually.
“It’s a small thing among friends”
And a small thing to see in a stranger’s face
The twinge of sadness and confusion and relief for themselves
They look at me and they see what they will never be
They see, though, what could happen, horribly.
One in 100
maybe.
1,000
10,100?
less likely
(for you).
And so I watch
And I listen
And they whisper
and they wonder
and they worry
And I laugh
at the joke that life telling me,
mocking at me.
But it’s not quite so funny, you see.
The whispering of the Wonderers
Asking over politely
Never listening intently
And I’ll tell them all about it
And I will listen
to the pitter patter of the pity.
Pitter pattering;
tip toeing around me,
so constantly
and away, usually.
tip toeing of tongues in whispers so willingly disregarding me,
or cautiously eluding everything.
Or even tip toeing of tongues trying to calm me.
The pitter patter of pitty.
You can hear it, you see.
You can see it, actually.
It may be a small thing.
Truthfully, it’s bigger than you might see.
I see.
And I laugh.
at the joke that the the fates whispered.
No one else quite seems to understand it.
But It’s become quite funny, to me.
What a pity.
Jared Oct 2014
I met a girl who I believed to be
Beautiful, trustworthy, and compatible with me
We took long walks, poured out our hearts
Every step was a step closer, until we were barely apart
I'd pull her toward me
and ensnare her in a long embrace
On sight of her a smile would shine upon my face
From the time I made her mine
we laughed and toyed with love
We held each other, and I felt happiness undreamed of
I treated her the way I should
like a princess, faithful, kind, and caring, like a prince would
I thought this happiness could last
That for nothing more, could I ask
But hindsight and wary eyes alike are tightly shut until,
the moments' passed, and your ignorant heart's been killed
She spent our nights apart with other men
She abandoned our relationship in secret, time and time again
I did not know she was unfaithful
I didn't know she was so cruel
I gave her all she'd ever wanted
But for her, respect had no appeal
Her true desires were for men dishonest
the kind much like herself, who broke a promise
I did not know what she was hiding below
Until she gave me mono.
For the next month of my life
I knew nothing but strife
My bed was my unsought-after companion
Holding me through fevers and sweat
Pain and hopelessness
While I sat alone, hoping to recover
The girl who got me there
Found a way to disappear
She bypassed most of the symptoms
And knowingly made me her victim.
Brad Sep 2014
Just five years ago, we met in the park.
A cool autumn night, just before dark.
We talked into the night, of the things we had seen,
the sun rose soon after, the sky glowing green.

Just four years ago, we had our first date.
Great first impression, I was half an hour late.
I was so nervous, these memories ephemeral,
Your smile was so wide, your eyes glowed like emeralds.

Just three years ago, we’d been dating a year.
You were my darling, and I was your dear.
I couldn’t get over how lucky I’d been,
but things aren’t always good, under the skin.

Just two years ago, you moved into my place.
Being with you was great, though a bit tight on space.
Six months after that, I dropped to one knee,
the day you agreed that you’d marry me.

Just one year ago the diagnosis came in.
A large tumor, far beneath the skin.
You cried and you screamed and you called it unfair,
I lost no love for you, as you lost your hair.

Slowly but surely you withered away.
We never were sure if you’d make the next day.
There was no way to help you, they did all they could,
everyday, by your bedside, I stood.

Just ten minutes ago, they called me and said.
I needed to see you, your life on a thread.
I sped through the traffic, I ran to your bed,
but when I arrived, you were already dead.
Wrote this for class, not really finished but whatever man.
Tuesday Pixie Sep 2014
Crushed, crushed, crushing
The struggle to expand
- and my throat is closing again
Heat, hot, dry
Floats over ribs
Seemingly detached
Yet hugging me tight
Claustrophobic
- And this sickness
(I'm sick of this sickness)
Threatens to rise out
Threatens, bubbles, teases
But I'm all shut up now
Not a whisper to escape
Tired.
Brain fogs
Fingers doze
All is fuzzed over
All is removed
All is discomfort
Noxx Sep 2014
The day is winding down, 5:49pm. He sits in a room full of people, alone. Music blasting in his ears to numbs his head, keeping away from people is this easy. Her words still ring in his head.

“Go **** up somewhere else”

Reminds him of watching his family time as a kid. Family time where mom cried, dad screamed, and this little runt crept under the blankets reciting to himself “Blankets keep the monsters away”

“Leave us the **** alone”

His head was beating now, it hurt so much. He couldn’t shake the constant THUMP THUMP THUMP in his head. He thought how maybe his head would explode and it’d be all ok after that.

“Do you want to ruin every one of my ******* relationships”

He didn’t understand why anyone would be like this. He was broken everywhere and he was surprised there was something left inside him to break, maybe thats why the thumping in his head grew stronger.

“I can’t believe you lied to me to my face”

They echo in his mind. He meant every word to her. He told her how he felt and sure he made mistakes but his heart was sincere. He didn’t lie

He looks around. So many people laughing and smiling and cheering. How the **** could they be so happy, don’t they understand whats happening. This man is at the edge of his sanity and people are laughing, being happy all around him. Can’t they see shards of broken glass in his eyes? Either the rest of the world is oblivious or they just dont care. Both equally terrifying.

He waits another second, closes his eyes, and shouts. When he opens his eyes all he sees is black. Dark. He blinks and stutters until he shakes the dark off and he sees everyone doing exactly the same thing they were doing.

He packs up, swallows the words, feelings, screams building up in his throat and leaves.
My eyes turn dark often.
Skypath Sep 2014
There’s something in my chest
Growing, swelling
A disease manifesting in my heart
It latches to my nerves and infects my brain
It’s love

It overflows from my heart
Oozing through my ribs like a thick river
Of butterflies and tired words
Remembered laughs and the sound of your voice

But lately it’s a symphony of voices
A theatre full of musicians playing my heartstrings
You’re a musician baby, and so are they

I’m sick
Infected with too much love for too many people
It’s a heart transplant
But they don’t take my old heart out first
Just add more and more until they spill from my ribs
Filling every corner of me until I crack

But baby I love it
Don't get me wrong, this is supposed to be a happy poem
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