Our love, I foolishly hoped, would be pretty simple
For down my spine you’d always send a tender tickle
But you and not I turned out to be blithely fickle
The day you said goodbye, I got to see pure evil
In eyes that were once alluring if not readily sinful
I silently cried because my heart then you did *******
The forever you promised somehow became a mere wrinkle
In the future that I now have to explain in past participle

take this road
to the moon

take his hand,
the moon child,

cause that’s how
its supposed to be

all this pain
all this sorrow
that’s our destiny

Dust for dust, it's never enough
Who can feel all these feelings when there's just so much lust
****** passion with some anger and rage
You're filled with something that can never change
Cause you've got monsters on the mind
They've mistaken you for kind
But your bad, maybe worse than anybody else
When the preacher prays, he prays for your health
But when he prays for your health he prays for your filth
So dust to dust, do what you must
But only darkness is here, darkness and lust

For many years you have enjoyed.
My company that you used to avoid.
Now from your love my heart is devoid.
Because I saw something that made me annoyed.
Seeing you with someone else, I was destroyed.
Like a planet turned into pieces by an asteroid.
I now run through the streets like a paranoid.
There's no one in this world to fill that VOID.

I want his embrace.
This challenge I face.
I'm his disgrace.
His little one.

I want his light.
This effortless plight.
I'm not alright.
I'm done.

I want his promise.
An actual truth.
My chest,
Falling against his.
I want to know his landscape.
Every twist.
Every ridge.

I want his control.
This love unfolds.
Heart-aching mold.
I'm his fool.

I don't belong.
The day, long gone.
I've done it all wrong.
This love
Its cruel.

written December 24, 2014

"As I walked inside the flood of memories came pouring down into the deep depths of my empty stomach
And my heart dropped down with them, when I first saw you
Feeble, exhausted, and glued to your bed
Throat so inflamed that barely any words were said
Wishing things were different, but there's nothing we can do
Besides sit and watch a movie together, inside the hospital room
When you caressed my hand, I felt it straight in my heart
Like a pathway to my happiness, you are the start
Our time was cut short, and I had to say goodbye
Our hands fell from our intertwine, to our sides as I looked you in the eyes for this last time
And said, 'bye'
But don't worry my love, I'll be back soon
And I promise I love you from the ground to the moon (and back)"

"I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored."--Wayne Campbell, *Wayne's World

Pass this
        night un-
*******
                                            wingnuts­.
Opened
        casing
showing
                                 ­            my guts.

Fragmented seconds ticking, slipping
through the widening span
                                     of these small hands.
I've unlocked                         my innards
and the truth is out: it's mostly rusting gears.
I've wound down.                 I've ground up
days and weeks, upended months,
spilled crumbs
                         of my years
on pages, aging fast.
The faces show it's late,
                                        so late.

Time's up.
          Trickling
out of
                                        habits
Gutter
        ­   nights are
washing
                                         ashes
Into
                 Yawning
                                              Faces
fille­d up
                  with questions
                                              falling
f­rom the corners of
their weary, sunburnt eyes.

I'll tick off one more weekend, crossing
panels off a page.
                               Discard a month.
They've opened                    the archives
and the story's old, the golden paper cracks.
The faces,                               blank pages,
rifle past through volumes' deaf--
--'ning greys.
                        Intentions
forgotten, filtered through
the seasons' blurring hum.

                                              It's so late.

I met a girl who I believed to be
Beautiful, trustworthy, and compatible with me
We took long walks, poured out our hearts
Every step was a step closer, until we were barely apart
I'd pull her toward me
and ensnare her in a long embrace
On sight of her a smile would shine upon my face
From the time I made her mine
we laughed and toyed with love
We held each other, and I felt happiness undreamed of
I treated her the way I should
like a princess, faithful, kind, and caring, like a prince would
I thought this happiness could last
That for nothing more, could I ask
But hindsight and wary eyes alike are tightly shut until,
the moments' passed, and your ignorant heart's been killed
She spent our nights apart with other men
She abandoned our relationship in secret, time and time again
I did not know she was unfaithful
I didn't know she was so cruel
I gave her all she'd ever wanted
But for her, respect had no appeal
Her true desires were for men dishonest
the kind much like herself, who broke a promise
I did not know what she was hiding below
Until she gave me mono.
For the next month of my life
I knew nothing but strife
My bed was my unsought-after companion
Holding me through fevers and sweat
Pain and hopelessness
While I sat alone, hoping to recover
The girl who got me there
Found a way to disappear
She bypassed most of the symptoms
And knowingly made me her victim.