Inside a room somewhere in my mind
I sit alone in the darkness
I can't break through the bars I'm trapped behind
The beat of my pulse constantly racing
A panic rises as I cry
Blood drips down my chin
I stare out at the dark starless sky
all the beast are real
They stalk me in the night
I wait for them to come for me
This to be my last fight
I fake my smile
And pretend I'm fine
A mask so well displayed
Emotion they can't find
I hate this cage
The chains that bind
I scream for a savior
But they can't hear my cry
How do you see
The girl hidden inside her mind

Boy : 1 2 3
             Set me free

Girl: 6 5 4
            Are you sure

Friends*: 7 8 9
                  Everything will be fine

Expectations, expectations,
Can I drop you for a while?
I don't mean it bad or vicious,
I just need a relaxed mind.

I don't really need your pressure,
Since it holds me back a lot,
Can I please enjoy this moment?
Cause it's everything I got!

my anxiety had consumed me
i was looking for an out
my friends said you were the key
that, i didn't doubt

i was worried it could be risky
but my friends said it was time
said you worked better than whiskey
and you're taste was sublime

my friends all tried to claim
my troubles would be gone
soon like a moth to a flame
to you i was drawn

my confidence was frail
but my willingness had shifted
and with one deep inhale
my troubles were lifted

i was laughing and happy
and it all felt so great
my life had been really ******
you took away the pain, fear, and hate

why are you illegal
when you bless us so
you give us a feeling so regal
and let our smiles show

you remove all of our pain and hurt
to let us be happy for an hour
you pick our self esteems up out of the dirt
and let us appreciate the beauty in a flower

you allow us to appreciate
sight, smell, sound, touch and taste
as our lives depreciate
and more troubles are faced

our meeting was fateful
you let me be a happier me
i am forever grateful
for how you set me free

The pain has begun to burn a hole straight through my chest,
It stings and sizzles as I try to smile, slowly crushing whatever’s left of this thing I call my heart.
The Waves of darkness that wash over me  cause this frail body to shut down, and exhaustion sets in, with the strong girl I once was long gone theres no chance for me anyway.
So please just let the wind sweep away my ashes, and let me finally be what i’ve always wanted to be...

Free.

I love you more than you will truly, ever know. I am stricken with so much fear. I am so scared because, truthfully admitting, I have no certainty that I obtain enough strength to defeat this "monster". I can't stop hearing this **** on a loop in my head. What if I never break myself free, what if I am trapped inside my own demise forever? It's the most frightening thing that I've ever known, I have been too afraid to be anything other than still; so, so, still.