You're this dull ache in my chest,
That never completely heals.
A dull ache
That's always there, throbbing quietly,
Waiting,
Pouncing on me when a smile decorates my face,
Or when laughter breaks out at my lips.
A dull ache
That wrestles with my soul
Until the smile fades,
And the sound of laughter ceases to exist.
A dull ache
That turns the air around me
Into a deathly quiet.
A dull ache
That brings back the smell of what once was,
Of what we once were.

If there is anyone up there,
listening to me and my prayer.

Please pull me out of this situation.
If you created me then I ask you to destroy your creation.

I can't see any path which will lead me to a better life.
And I don't have the strength to hang myself or cut my wrist with a knife.

So, I kneel before you and ask you to do me a favour.
Send a beast on earth and I'll let him to devour.

Because that'll be the only precise punishment for my sin.
I am only giving pain to all my kith and kin.

If there's an afterlife then punish me with a life full of hell.
Trap me there for 1000 years and happily there I'll dwell.

If there's any reincarnation then curse me with a pernicious one,
Devoid of any air, devoid of light of moon or the Sun.

So, if my prayers are reaching you then punish me for my crime.
I give myself away and will fix it only the next time.

In silence and heartache,
The air has turned dire.
Our smiles were combusted
By miseries fire.
Its smoke has enclosed us
Within our own sphere,
Though soon you'll be leaving.
Leaving me here.

For long I'd accustomed
To being alone.
No need for direction.
No need for a home.
But one day you found me,
Your hands full of love,
And lips full of comfort
Which smiled just above.

Now loneliness taunts me
Whenever you go.
You take with you more than
You ever could know.
My happiness follows,
Forever it's yours.
In silence and heartache,
In rises and falls.

oh, little ones
if I could build you a worthy city
to keep you safe and dreaming
I would crush the hope I had left
into a powder,
mix it
with all the things we grown couldn't be
and lay the slurry out to set,
harden it with sun and air
not hate
forming a foundation
where futures could be built
oh,
but my tools have no power
I dented them in fury and shorted them in tears
before they could be used to build  

oh, little ones
if ever I find safety in this homeless land
I'll wrap you in it
in a heartbeat