She’s got scars on her legs,
calls them battle wounds,
I’ve got the music up way to loud,
so loud we can’t hear our thoughts,

city lights provide the background,
as we lose control and make love,
doing anything to feel anything,
because it’s 2018 and it feels like no one gives a fck,

so we fck,
and after it's said and done she says,
“I don’t usually do this.”,
yeah well we often do things we don’t usually do,

no road home and no rules,
no control no lines no tolls,
keep knocking and you can come in,
but no one’s home,

what’s going on up there,
how can you be so terrifyingly beautiful,
why are you armed with such a stare,
I know you’re a weapon but what do you use it for,

armed to the teeth no bark all bite,
I say she’s a unicorn she says she’s a vampire,
and I don’t fall in love but with this one I just might,
because we better express ourselves before we expire,

got burned from her fire,
but it hurt so good,
like those cuts that we inflicted onto each other,
feeling erratic I guess blame it on the mood,

always ready to talk about anything except the truth,
she says she only lied to me once,
and that was about not liking Ethiopian food,
and I pretend to care but honestly don’t know if I give a fck,

what the fck,
I’m drunk,
and I don’t usually drink,
but I often do things I don’t usually do,

and I don’t mean to be rude,
but I’m not sure I love you,
because even if I did,
I’m not sure it’d matter to you so what’s the use,

you want the truth,
the truth is we’re born alone and we die alone,
and in the middle is where I found you,
and for a moment this runaway thought he'd found a home,

and I wanted us to stay forever in that moment,
laying there naked in each other’s arms,
but you were insecure and covered yourself back up,
because you didn’t want me to see your scars,

you’ve got scars on her legs,
calls them battle wounds,
I’ve got the music up way to loud,
so loud we can’t hear our thoughts,

city lights provide the background,
as we lose control and make love,
doing anything to feel anything,
because it’s 2018 and it feels like no one gives a fck...

∆ LaLux ∆

Melbourne, Australia
October 2018

I'll bury all my secrets in my skin,
come away with innocence
but bleed my truthful sins.
the world around me feels like
a tight cage
and "I love you", is just a camouflage
for your next episode of rage.

If you do love me, let me go
I'll probably run away before I truly know
my heart is too black to care,
is it destroyed if it was never really there?

I'll find my penance, delivered to my true state
if I'm alone I have no one to hate,
but myself.

My love was banished long ago,
if you still care don't ever let me know.

Angels will lie to keep control
making over heaven like some paradise we all want to go
dead trees are painted white
and she calls them beauty, art.

My selfish thoughts colour my life
and I call that my heart.

If I had to fix myself I don't know where I'd start
But I suppose,
I'd cut each limb to the bone
and tear my entire self apart.

So you all know...this is THE alter ego of a friend I burried ....ring ....ring .....ring.... .aw ****...my best friend Carlos just snapped me out of hate

I hate myself I hate how I think
I wish I could be different every time I blink
I wonder what it's like to be someone else
Because I really don't want to be myself
I would give anything to be like her
“She's going to go far in life because her head's on right”
Yeah but mine is twisted and bruised
Yeah i’ll be fine
Yeah I think i’m sure
But i’m the one who’s not bright
Im stupid
Immature
A mess
Right?

I wish I could just be blessed
I get more sad and sad every day
I just don’t want to live this way
I try so hard but what gets in the way is myself!
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I don’t even believe in myself and i’m ready to face my true fate

I’ve disappointed everyone enough and
I just want me to be enough for them
not me
THEM!!

Warm, sparkling waters are rising
And we drink it from filthy, cracked glasses
They say "No worry, no problem.
Only high class in the masses"

Have you completely lost it?
Are you absolutely crazy?
My opinions remain unchanged
My mind's gotten a bit hazy

Engulf your mind in
euphoric tides
and speak your true mind
as if it's truly where your heart resides

Glance at your reflection
What do you see?
Devil horns, lizard skin?
Or a face carefree?

"Don't say that!"
"We don't think so, it's okay,"
How could you?
Do you not see infinite shades of gray?

I just want to swim deep
Lost in the high euphoric tides
Where time has no restrictions
and this horrid storm subsides.

it feels like
you've given your every single bone
to the idea of existing
inside of someone else's head
promising yourself
you would never force yourself again
to love, to hurt and to be hurt
yet it feels
you've given too much already
to stop feeling
like you've ever belonged to yourself

bruised knuckles
forcing their way
through the concrete of your guts
trapped in your own cage of dreaming
to mean something to yourself