on this edge I hear different
things with different ears
the rain in close deserts
the emptiness of hours rolling into
something larger than themselves
your self, my self, their selves trapped nebulae
inside the knife of time carving wise bodies
when the flood of blood gets disconnected from the heart
bodies full of tears recycle the vaults of thought
I am no other than myself frozen in a primordial space,
a shelter for the pain of those I love

What man under modernity, is free?
Comparative to the peasantry preceding
We must seem to be
Shackled to a strange form
Of self-induced slavery

this animal is my self
it demands care, quietness, aliveness
infused as it is with primordial light and dread
sometimes I am only ears and eyes and fingers
and legs and *** and spine, a stomach, a liver and
a heart, sweat, tension and craving, a felt unity
vital stories to be told in the forgotten language
of hope and despair, longing and refusal
there is earth in my hands, air in my eyes, fire
in my stomach, water in my skin
untranslatable whispers about you, the other-me
I am a thirsty boundary for the river of life to dream
sighs symbols rythms harmonies and virtues

How do I show my beauty?

By just being me.
By embracing the things I love in life.
By feeding into my energy.
By diving into my creativity.
By leaning into my curiosities.
By embracing change and striving for improvement.
By showing empathy.
By digging into my strength and endurance.
By practicing mindfulness.
By harnessing my focus.
By utilizing patience and compassion.
By feeling strong emotions.
By loving my nature.
By moving with passion and resting in good reason.
By needing nothing else outside of these.

These are the beautiful things that come from within me.

All that’s needed of me
is to dig within myself,
to dive headfirst
and fully submerge into the water
and pulling out these attributes-
these facets of beauty,
reflecting the sunshine
like the scales of a fish,
the cuts in an emerald,
the ultraviolet color in flowers and birds.

do you hear that?
no
do you fear that ?
no
understand its near when the heat bubbles my brain
understand the tears when they flood more than rain
i can’t taste anything but raging waves
washing my face, washing our pain
cleanse, repent, until i second guess
all the compression of my fate
depression in my rays
internal divide, leave the strain in the drain
self sacrifice, smoke the demons away

I always wanted more for myself,
wanted to be memorable,
but now I barely remember most of my life.
Sometimes, I consider who I am,
study my reflection hard in the mirror
contemplate whether it's really me
and then ask if this is who I want to be.
What a responsibility it is
to carry this human flesh to the end
and to act in favor of this restless, desirous mind
for the entirety of a life.
Most of the time, I hardly register my life and world around me
and thus behave mindlessly,
and now I'm realizing that time is more than a concept
and that age will one day take me by the throat.
I've tried so hard to figure myself out,
but I suppose I should spend less time in my mind
and more time taking up space in this body.

a relationship
can't mask
what you fail
to love within
yourself

She let her
dreams grow
wings