You should practise joy more often,
it becomes you
and the radiance in your eyes
when you receive what others take for granted
is, for me, the greatest gift
and the deepest sorrow.
For you should not have to live on the crumbs
and these small kindnesses are your due,
what you deserve
not what you should have to crave.
I cannot understand how one so giving of her love
has received so little in return.
So, like a beautiful antique bureau that has been moved
too many times by careless owners,
your burnished mahogany heart
has been chipped and scarred and
my cargoes of love often find anchor in
a harbour of doubt.
My words may fall short of your hesitant ear but
perhaps your mouth believes my kisses,
your body believes my arms
and in my eyes can you see how your joy
begets my joy?

Here. Impress me.
Take your appearance and character
And put it under a stress sheet
It's light enough to ignore
But it keeps away the best heat
It puts up an impenetrable wall
Between where my head and my chest meet.
All the time I'm thinking
What's the way to best beat
This self consciousness we feel
It just seems to oppress me.

But what if I told you
That I'm really not that great
That everything about me
Is the thing that I most hate.
I get wrapped up in myself
And the status of my current state
All the while forgetting
That I don't determine my own fate.
See I don't have the power
To end or create
But I worry and I wonder
And by then it's too late.

See I wanna be impressive
I want people to know my face
When they think of success
I want them to think Sam Chase.
But it's not up to me
What ideas others embrace
No matter how much I try
It's their thoughts and their space.
I can't determine
What they think of my case
All I can change
Is the way I see my own face.

If I let others determine
The worth I see in myself
I might as well give up
Pack up life. Back on the shelf.
Finding worth in others
Is a sure ticket to hell
Cause I abandon who I am
My thoughts I never tell.
Until I pick up this pen
Let go of my shell
There's not a rope in the world
To pull me back from where I fell

So let's try this.

I'm gonna be someone different
Someone I've not been around you
You're gonna see some new things
My emotions might surprise you
You might think I'm weird
Because of the things that I do
But this is me.
I just never let it shine through.
Yeah I have my quirks
That I never show beside you.
Cause I've always been too worried
Too scared I'd be left behind you.

Not anymore.
No today I'm really me
What you get is what you get
What you see is all you'll see
I'm being really honest.
I'm focused on transparency.
I WANT you to see trough
See through to how I just
Be.
I'm not gonna hold back
I'm just gonna try to be free
So you do the same thing.
When I say here.
Impress me.

Please excuse me if I’m loyal to you in every aspect
And think that your mind is what deserves my respect
If I hold you in high esteem because of the opinions you hold
Instead of the sight my eyes behold

Please excuse me if my self-esteem takes a hit
Every time you call another girl fit
If my heart breaks and I can’t help but condemn
All the comment you make about them

Am I not beautiful to you?

leave your wrinkled white t-shirts scattered on my bedroom floor.

leave your scent and your records and all your rough edges.

abandon your heavy breath in between my bed sheets,
an eyelash and your hand-written notes and your self-esteem.

leave the curve of your lips on the edge of my desk,
along with your pen and your empty cigarettes.

leave all of you behind for me to swallow and choke on.
leave it all, for the moment that I begin to miss you.

oh, and please do not forget to leave me
your spark and your spectral light.

Most people wouldn't say
that they found love
in a girl with red hair,
green eyes,
incredibly shy,
scared of food,
childish,
loves her music much too loud,
hates herself,
with an addiction to coffee,
cracked but not broken.

Most people wouldn't say
that they found a friend
in the girl with red hair,
even if she was trustworthy
she gives awful advice
has a bad way to approach things
and would prefer music and sleep
over people any day

Most people wouldn't say
that they found this girl interesting
pretty
talented
because she isn't
she's just another girl,
one with red hair and words to say
that no one will listen to,
and no one will confide in
no one will find
she's just going to be alone,
and she's okay with that.

She isn't about to blame them, because she wouldn't either.

She will  knead you and need you
Willing you to agree
You will know you have a universe brewing
But she will convince you that
it is only a lowly branch scratching at the door

You will grow up wanting to throw up bits of colour
Because it makes you something she is afraid of.
You will constantly fight to find yourself within her constraints
Always falling short

Never sure where you lie.

She is
The type of mother that lets you know
Your beauty is fading with your worth.