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  Oct 2016 Antoinette G
"i'm sorry."**

the two words you uttered that night
the two words that still haunt me today
and the two words i never knew i needed to hear

did you mean it?
were you sorry for leaving me?
were you sorry for allowing your ego to overcome what we had?
were you sorry for what we had?

well, i'm sorry too.

i'm sorry for fighting for you
even when i knew it wasn't right

i'm sorry for holding you back
when you could've been happier with her

i'm sorry for loving you
when i knew you weren't for me
Antoinette G Oct 2016
Where do i go now that i dont have you? Go away, Go away, Go away
How can  I live without you there * Together forever,Together Forever,Together Forever
I should've gone so long ago  *Leave, Leave,Leave

But you made me wanna stay Come Here Baby, Come Here Baby, Come Here Baby
Where do i start when all that i've ever known is gone? Stay, Stay,Stay
How can i move past this thing that seems to go on and on You will never get away, Never get away, Never get away
So i'll sit here and figure out
** Where To Go From Here
Antoinette G Oct 2016
Here is my heart
For you to take and abuse
Here is my body
For yout to misuse
Here are the sweet words
That I now know were lies
Here are the tears
From all the Good-Bye's
Here is my purity
That you tainted with your name
Here is my soul
That will never be the same
Here is my time
That i wasted chasing you
Here is EVERY single I Love You
That now has broken me
Here is ME
Here is Me
Here is me
That is nothing without you
Am going through my jar of broken heart peices and i cant seem to put them together again.... Maybe they will just stay broken.
  Sep 2016 Antoinette G
In this story,

she’s made of only blood, flesh, and bone. Her pair of
white-hot eyes trail down polycarbonate
bodies like liquor over skin, yes, I’m moving to
New York next weekend. Yes, I’m very excited.
She’s a
simmering bowl of office clerk and
caesius veins, swimming, always swimming.

It’s not like she has a lot of *** or anything, though she
likes bodies against bodies and the smell of
salt and sweat and gasps and heaves and
the thrill. 40s jazz and pill-shaped
freckles; she pulls her sweater down over her hands,
tries to calm down a heart that'll never stop

God. Yes. Yes to whiskey, yes to the new car, yes to falling
asleep without eating dinner. It’s about the new, the news, the
ivy and the flowers and the way that roses are so beautiful and yet they are
covered in thorns and green is a very pretty color until
jealousy turns everything brown and rotten and it’s all about the

way Venus fly traps are so wonderful and so so cruel.
Antoinette G Apr 2016
One day
Mother's won't have to worry for their
children if they are late to getting home
Getting more nervous as the
Minutes slowly tick away
Wondering if this morning was the
Last time they'd ever see their child
Or say I love you
One day
Teens won't throw their lives away
Because some of their peers made their life a daily pain
With hurtful bards of words and scarring memories
Because they are just a little different
One day
Policemen and citizens alike will not have to fear each other
And can stand united as one to fight the real bad guys
Where there will be no more funerals for the people's lives
That were taken due to this struggle
That is causing all this pain
One day
Females everywhere will have rights
To learn, to choose, to have a voice
Where they are not tried to be silenced by those who would hold them back
Where they have the opportunity to make the world a between place
And even if they don't want it it’s was still an option
One day
People of won't live in fear of being killed by others because of their religion
Scared in their own town
All due to a couple of extremist who can't be caught
Where something people should be proud about
Is now a source of fear
One day
Girls won't measure themselves by What they see on magazines or TV
But look to their inner beauty
Where being bigger set than others isn't a wrong thing
Where being anorexic is a serious problem
And not a way to get skinny fast
One day
People won't be ridiculed because they like people of the same ***
Where they are forced by society to pretend
Knowing they'll never truly fit in
Living in fear of being hurt if they let their true feelings appear
One day
It won't be cool to be mean to others
Where everyone will treat others with a mediocre of respect
Where even the kid in the back of the class will have at least on friend
So they don't feel alone
One day
There will be no third or fourth world countries
Where there will be no more people living in trash heaps
And at least have some food to eat
Where parents have to struggle daily just to put a little food into their child's belly
One day
There will be no more soldiers running into wars
With bullets zipping past their heads
And sleepless nights in their beds
When they leave the battlefields of war
Only to come home to another battle
One day
School will be a safe zone
Where parents can send their kids
Without worry something will go wrong
Where students can learn
And grow strong
One day
There will bad water
No islands made of trash
And we won't have to worry when we won't have clean water anymore
Where global warming isn't a norm
One day
Getting and education for the working class
Won't be like digging a student loan grave
And people spend years of their life trying to pay
For something that should have been
One day
There will be no need for feminist
Because be no certain way to dress
Or they will be a consequence  
And you won’t have to worry about
Weather what you're are wearing is
Going to get you picked on
Laughed at ,Teased
One Day
Antoinette G Apr 2016
I smile
Even though I want to cry
I laugh
Even though I want to scream out why?
I joke
Even though I hurt on the inside
I dance
Even though my feet feel leaden
I run
Even though I feel like I’m getting nowhere
I sing
Even though my heart doesn’t feel the music
I draw
Even though my head is in the clouds
I live
Even though I want to die
I get up
Even though I know I’ll be beaten down yet again
I fight
Even though it seems I’ve lost
I search
Even though everyone tells me there is nothing to find
I am
Even though I know I can never really be me
So many thoughts feelings expressions emotions
locked behind deadpan eyes and a voice that's toneless.
A mountain of a person consolidated to this form.
A body unimpressive.
A face unexpressive.
The chaos upstairs requires all of my attention.

Conversing takes a back-seat which is why I seem distant.
Too many things to say only leaves me in silence.
I don't know how or where to begin.
If only I could let you inside to weather the storm
maybe you could make sense of this nonsense and bring me to port.
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