Who here loves *******?!!!
I mean, dogs
Obviously…
Immature people.

I love ***** shows.

Seeing them all groomed to perfection, not a hair out off place
A shame some cute faces will just go to waste.
While some may whine and some may resist,
If it’s not monetised, well… does it exist?

Lined up in a row
Look at them go
Praying and hoping to win best in show, just for a itty bitty wittle headpat, while the owner gets useful things like money.
Cause a dog can’t use money, that’s just silly

Nails perfectly trimmed
Intelligence dimmed
Watch how they walk with a little trot, so proud of themselves,
its like they forgot they only have the same rights as their owners in 6 countries.
But dogs don’t need equal working rights, that’s just silly

Look its absurd
When they whine all their words
Clogging up space with their frilly likes and their silly ums that totally like inconveniences like everyone because they have to um like listen to a ***** talk for um longer than they like totally like um have to like ***.

But they aren’t so bad, especially when you’ve had
A ***** that wont behave, a ***** that’s gone mad
Howling at the moon with their wandering wombs
It’s like there’s no party, only balloons.
If a ***** wears pants, do they go on all fours
Or do they get sent home for showing more than their paws.

Gasp at how they growl, protecting their hairy bodies, which, silly them, they don’t own.

They must be culled
Anger dulled
Knock in their thick skulls they are nothing but a *****.

We all love ***** shows, we love the ******* even more.
So come on ladies, get down on all fours.

I see you,
yes you there,
those peering eyes,
lips pursed,
teeth in a grind,
smirk lines,
touching the right ear.
Yes you,
I am calling you out,
you are judging me,
come on!
yes you are ,
for my time,
MY time .
you wonder how,
what i do ,
in my free time?

my time is not free,
please! i am a life.
i do a lot ,
but to put up a show,
now, now!
stop .

opinions like yours,
i wouldn't lie,
popped up ,
quite a few times .
now i tell you,
if thoughts like that,
left my head,
youd leave me too.

oh come on!
a friend i can be,
a follower,
oh please !
let me be .

my free time ,
as you call it,
my privilidge,
and my choice.
i have earned it ,
or not ,
you are one,
to question,
to point.
this precious job,
who did onoint?
were you coronated,
by the likes of you?
to lead and demolish,
my very being.
word after word,
they are put out ,
like cannon ***** .
i still stand guard,
my thoughts,
MY free time.

Tommy guns for insurance
And wads of sweaty cash
To build new empires with

But there are no guarantees
Crime, you see, doesn't pay
You can bank on it

So we already know how it ends:
They canceled his policy
And Dunaway with her

~
Mammaries
Light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories
Of the way they were

Scattered pictures
Of the ***** we left behind
More bounce to the ounce
In the way they were

If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we?
Could we?
God-given vs. Store bought?
I'll take the Lord's work
Every time
~

On a quest to flatter
a date without love
does it really matter.

Once at the guillotine

Now an out-of-focus angel

"Crime is shame, not the scaffold!"

She's got a '45 strapped

To each of her thighs

Speaks French with a Martian accent

Wishes she was a siren

When bathed in happy thoughts

Wishes she was the ladybird

When her wings

Confuse amuse transfuse

Into dreams of blood

Lukewarm prisoner

Detained for seven years

Now lies beside her

Asking for a helping hand

She loosens her corset

But tightens her grip

Randy Fish
I saw you fishing
Down by the river
What were you wishing?
Enough to shiver
Were you secretly kissing?
Any old randy giver?