not many days had passed
since you first left
we were too far apart all the time
told myself it was
better this way
because my biggest fears
always traced
your bad lines
walking down the street
i see you across the way
and i try to
try and not to make eye contact
but i cant
resist the memories
locked in your face
so i stare
and for a moment
we get lost in each other
separated by a street
and so much more
you smile
and all the differences
seem to disappear
and i want to run
and be caught by you again
i want to come home
because you were the most
beautiful place i'd ever
made my home
but the cars flash by and
suddenly
you're not standing there
all i see is a trace
of your silhouette
against the cold october air
somehow we
recapped
the past 9 months
in a single moment
and you didn't care enough
to stay
so again
you just walked away
and i was left
standing
surprised
for the millionth time

all the time that transcends
when we're together
should be bottled
into a capsule
that i can bury when
our love dies
then when i miss your
tender touch
and magnetic eyes
i will dig up the grave
and open the memories
from former days
and keep going
knowing
we were never meant to be
but i loved you
more than anyone else

Well hello poetry, give me your astrology, hold out your hands let's have the maps your treasure's keep.

Sing me the songs now, your idle devotions, the languages of lucifer you
hide in your pots and pans. If you're awake, go back to sleep, it's time to eat you and cry on your pants. In a mistake that the garden you've kept on a clock, analog visuals to change how you talk.

While the song it keeps exploding, you only know how much you've been holding. Don't be too tired to call out if you need. It's late but don't forget how much veterinary school is worth, even the bumps and early morning rattles won't shake you at your core. It's morning now, the heat is on. The rustling of peasants start to grumble for their eats. Pumpkin with coconut oil in Ed's dish is the greatest point in her morning's happiness.

I don't cry. I don't cry. I just talk about it, in voices that only you understand. I don't cry. I don't cry. I just care about you. As much and more than the certainties you care about me too.

It's getting noon soon. And the cold is growing. I'm talking myself into getting more clothes on pretty soon. I don't cry. I don't cry. I'm just pretending to keep me going. I'm so enamored by someone as cool as you do. Let's play pretend, but keep all of this still going. Our neverending portrait drawings of Wednesday afternoon. Do you try? I try. As much as you have taught me. The weather doesn't affect how much I'm talking after you.

You stand in the corner of the room,
light radiating off of your silver body.

Your head is held up high
so you can face the light bulb that
hangs by your side.

She smirks at me,
knowing you will never shine at me
the way you shine for her.

But let me tell you something.
You brighten up my world
more than that hideous light bulb
brightens up yours.
you have a special glow,
and every time you open up,
it makes me shine within as well.
you're filled with sweetness,
sugar-coating my fabric.
you’re always there for comfort,
providing words of reassurance.

but one day,
your heart will shatter
as you watch that light bulb die out.
and as the light fades away,
you'll fall apart,
shards of ice spilling out of you.
and when that happens,
give your heart to me.
i'll hold it close to mine,
hugging the parts back together as
zippers enclose our hearts-
the intricate design of complicated love.

but until then,
with all my problems held inside,
with my heart torn and worn from being unheld,
i’ll be waiting
for the day to call you mine.

You come and go,
like a ocean wave, the victims of gravity game. I am a child running towards the water, as the moon pulls you away, but as soon as it comes rushing back; I am running away from the manifest roar of you:

It lingers in my ears, like a the ringing of a bell as you walk'd into my world. I can seem to escape you, you haunt me. Every where I look, run or go to hide you are there with your piercing words and lost smile.

Giggling like a fool, you soon stop and for a perfunctory moment, you realize I am not worth the chase. I am not worth the foot ache, the lack of breath, the wind stinging your eyes, that create golden tears that trickle down your face.

You begin to flow away, effortlessly gliding away from me, towards the moon. Your lost lover, the intruder in our game of two. I close my eyes, and take my place, because once again this is my game and you are mine to chase.

sjr 1/14/16

The last time we met it was raining
and the stampede of raindrops on the roof
must have made it hard for you to hear.
I had wanted to tell you about my mother
how I wasn’t yet five feet tall
when she was six feet under.
Lover, listen.
Incurable illnesses cannot recognize
the plumpness of an over ripe nectarine
from the plumpness of a woman’s breast.
And the last time we met I don’t think you heard me say
that my name is Amelia
because you kept moaning Sarah.
Now, lover.
I understand the impossibility of moving on
but I’ve run out of excuses to make.
There’s no Lauren or Patrice
just me in these sheets.
Lover, please.
Pick me.

Sometimes,
When we try to look for answers, it leaves us with more questions
Sometimes,
When we overthink everything, we suffer from nothing but depression
Sometimes,
We make sense of our surroundings by holding onto things we believe in
Sometimes,
We just have to let go of we've been
Sometimes,
We're just tired and need somewhere to begin

Sarah
Sarah is a virgo
 but she is no ******.

She is full of experience,

and im not talking about ***, or drugs.

( though she had her fair share.)

Im talking about life.

Sarah hasnt lived in a fairy tale,

but if she did,
 she would be a prince.

She is charming,

bold,

kind,

and tenacious.

Sarah would **** a dragon

just to make sure you were safe.

She will make you laugh,

and iron soap,

Dancing as she watches you with

her precious knowledge of Amity.

Sarah will hold you when you cry,

and she will tell you its okay to be sad.

Sarah had her vision turn gray when she was a child;

words tore at her skin,

but she is still alive.

Her vision turned back to technicolor

but that doesn’t mean it won’t turn back to gray.

Sarah dosent like to talk about herself,

but you can talk to her,

She will help you see the world.

If you can’t see the flowers

Sarah will hold your hand and 
sing you a picture.

Sarah holds all of her friends,

there names taped to the front of her heart.

She plants her seed of friendship

deep in the roots of your garden.

You dont need to meet her more than once,

you can tell that she is always there.


Sarah can be mean,

but thats just cause shes tired.

Sarah carries the troubles she has with her,

they are wrapped with the sign 
“do not enter”

but she dosen’t let them weigh her down.

Sarah dosent ask for help 
she is given it,

and she will always return the favor

but she will complain about you giving

even before you finish your task.

Sarah is a mystery,

She smokes a lot of 
cigarettes

but she still

smells like 

Sarah.


She is far from perfect,

she animates her life with overdramatic hand movements

and tells her wisdom with sonnets or

Monologues from act i scene ii,

She plays overtures from her heart,

and talks lyrics from her soul.


Sarah is a musical of a life 
full of future.

She is a name in lights 
not yet recognized.

Sarah hasn’t finished her life yet,
but she is the lines

of poetry, and songs

not yet written.

Sarah adds years to peoples lives.

Sarah is a friend,

and im happy to know her

even if a short minute of her hourglass

is all I ever see.

Six roses for Sarah, she knew how to swim
In and out of you consciousness.
She had you all figured out.

Six roses for Sarah, she learned how to smile,
And take that smile farther than any human dared to go before.
She was made of stones.

Six roses for Sarah, she walked all through the land.
just to get here and be in your arms
She was fragile as glass

Six roses for Sarah, she learned to look
To see beyond this putrid and know the light.
She had blinded her eyes for the truth.

Six roses for Sarah, she sat waiting
Not stopping her love, it flowed like the Nile river.
She was breathless, but she is all breaths.

Six roses for Sarah,
You give them to her ten years late.
Lay them by her rest, by the mountains.
She loved too much.