Whoa! The thunder woke me. It shakes this little house. The lightning seems to come directly to my window and it lights up my room like strobe light. I feel very small, and very scared. It feels weird because there was a time when this weather was rather empowering; now it is the opposite. But...I recall that time to be when I was the happiest with myself. So, things have happened, and I've lost confidence. I am realizing that only I am able to talk myself into who I was. Because I've never been one to stay down long. I've got a schedule of achievements to make. I am determined to rebuild what I have lost.

And just like that... the second round of thunder encourages me and I am laughing with excitement.

I've lost my mind full of words,
as it seems impossible to speak.
For, after all the things I've heard,
my tongue, defeated, is now too weak.
Confliction is a tasteless *****
as she works her magic in my mind;
I've been cursed by that **** witch
so that resolutions, I will not find.
Without any understanding, I am empty,
just left wide open; a black hole.
There are none who can undo what was done to me,
none who can give purpose to my soul.
This is not the first, nor the last time
that I shall be be faced with disappointment.
And now it feels so hollow, this mind of mine,
because without words, I have no enjoyment.

ten months
ten months wasted on a soul who
couldn’t care less if my last breath was drained
praying for forgiveness or speaking their name
ten months spent with a being who
would rather be the cause of tears streaming down my face
than shed one themselves


from the beginning i was warned.
but the caution signs and police tape that wrapped around your chest wasn’t enough to keep me out,
i had to see for myself.
it was only then that i knew, first hand, what it meant to be held captive.
i walked through fields of glass, tiptoed through bushels of thorns
and swam through eel infested canals
to keep your anger at bay,
but one misstep, one slip, or a breath taken too late
and i’d awaken the beast that lurked inside.


forty years ago a robbery took place in stockholm, sweden
and for six days four people were held hostage in a bank vault,
later rescued with no hatred held.
through threats they grew compassion,
through desperation they found trust,
and ultimately the kidnapped formed a bond with their captors.
there were no physical cuffs that tied me to you,
but the emotional torment you put me through
somehow didn’t compare to the drunken night
i stumbled through your doorway
only to find myself face-first on the ground, choking on my own vile.
apologies bound by spit were silenced by the washcloth you
ran down my spine, your eyes radiated nothing but love.
you haven’t looked at me the same ever since.

but for a while i didn’t care
because i could forget the bad to only see the good
and i could deal with falling asleep to the howls of my own sorrow,
strung along by the hope that tomorrow you would douse the burning bridges,
but the flames grew too high for me to handle,
and i decided it was time i run through the ring of fire to safety
because i’d rather suffer a small burn than be engulfed in your blaze.


take this how you will but just know
this is not an ode to my sadness,
to the heartbreak you put me through.
this is my way of saying that after i scoured through the barren lands known as your heart, i’ve finally made my way out.
this is my way of saying that after ten forsaken months,
i am free.

1.** You can't be good at everything.
2. Someone will always care for humanity, when everyone else have given up.
3. Not everyone will love you.
4. Words can feel like daggers.
5. Romanticizing pain won't make it hurt any less.
6. Hating your father won't change him.
7. You're worth more than just a ****** being.
8. Perfection is an unreachable goal.
9. Not everyone is out to get you.
10. Trusting someone doesn't mean there's a lower risk of them leaving you.

You've got a beautiful heart
And a beautiful mind
But your beautiful face
You'll have to see in time

As strong as an anchor
As gentle as a feather
When you're with me
I can withstand any weather

The faith you put in me
Must now you withdraw
Have faith in yourself
I have all along

Now use your beautiful heart
And use your beautiful mind
There are far better things ahead
Than any you leave behind.

She's now here
On hello poetry!
The great and powerful
Amazing Teal Moirail
Sarah!
She's a poet and I always did know it!

A High Classed girl
Your funny and loud
Your kind and gentle
But you can **** **** up
When you need to!
You're my Moirail
My other half
My Best Friend
I couldn't live without you
Teal and Violet
Go so well together

Sarah
You're smart  and funny  and kind of really loud
But that doesn't mean I don't want you to talk
And though I do things you don't want me to
You know it's true
I can always call you if I need to
And you know you have me to

Cause I'm pale, pale, pale for you
There's no combination that beats teal and violet
Pale, pale, pale for you
We're Moirails through and through
And you know that I will always be with you


lalala


Don't you know
I see the way you talk about your dad
I didn't know him at all I'm sorry
It's okay He's in a better please  and I'll stay
But please don't ever push me away
When everything crumble beneath your hands
I'll be there to be the one who understands

Cause I'm pale, pale, pale for you
There's no combination that beats teal and violet
Pale, pale, pale for you
We're Moirails through and through
And you know that I will always be with you

lala lala lalalalalala lala lalaaaooo

Sign your Kik name with YinYangs
I'll make cat faces too : 3
Put up with my HomeStuck shenanigans
And I'll be there there you
for you

Cause I'm pale, pale, pale for you
There's no combination that beats teal and violet
Pale, pale, pale for you
Pale, pale, pale for you
Cause I'm pale, pale, pale for you
There's no combination that beats teal and violet
Pale, pale, pale for you
We're Moirails through and through
And you know that I will always be with you

lalala lala lala la la la la la

By Elena Ramos©
1
Todays my last day of School before I graduate, go to the University and the most important thing summer vacations, I just hope to be accepted in a good University, and I am talking seriously. All my entire friends are going to travel or do something incredible as always before they start the University, but I cant. My vacations are boring, watch movies at home,I just visit  my grandparents house, or watch tennis games with my dad and brothers. I am the second son of four kids, Julian is the older, I am next, Ryan the third and Georgina the small one. My mother name is Lauren Parker but she was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) which is basically a sickness that do not **** you but makes your life harder, not only physically but mentally also. Mom started to feel fatigued, loss her concentration constantly and memory, extremely pain in her muscles, and a inexplicable headache. It is a little bit hard for all of us because even if mom is alive she cant do anything for us, she started feeling this way after Gerogina was born, that was sixteen years ago. My dad Julian is the one who suffers the most, they cant do any activity toguether, even watching Tennis Chanel is hard for her, she is more time sleeping than what she spend awake. Georginas sweet sixteen just passed and sadly mom couldn’t  help her to plan the party. All the boys of the house, we help her to plan it, but our ideas **** up that much that she almost cancel the party. Even so, she did it, and she had a good time, all her friends came and dance a lot, my brother Julian buy her some alcohol because he is more than twenty one, and brought some friends with him supposedly to supervise everything and have things calm. Dad was not in the party because  he trusted Julian that everything was going to be fine. All Julian friends were wasted but for my sisters friends they were cool, so at the end we all have fun. Right now is almost Lunch, that means school will end soon. Arnold my best friend of all my life, is sitting next to me making some jokes about Mrs. Frances horrible make up, like if she did it in the dark. I cant believe that during my entire life I did not talk to Mary the hottest girl in the entire school. Her hair so light brown, her beautiful smile, her blue eyes, and her incredible capacity of being the best student of Seattle’s High School make me fall in love of her, sadly I was never able to speak to her, not even a hello in the cafeteria line. Girls like her make boys feel stupid for even believe we have a chance with them. Even Arnold feel the same way with her, just that he is not able to admit it, because he thinks we can fight for her and end our friendship. Lunch is here, we are meeting Sarah a friend of us, but she is a junior, sadly we wont graduate with her. We had this little pact that the three us were going to the same University together and that Sarah was going to meet us the next year too. Seattle pacific University is our best option for now. They offer Arnold a half scholarship, something awesome that I wish could happen to me, thanks god my parents save money for school during their entire life. I live in Seattle the largest city of Washington, Sara mom reserve a table tonight for the three of us to celebrate were out of school in the space needle. Later we can got to a party or something alike, definitely tonight were having some fun. We just meet Sara in the hallway.
-Hey donkies!-said Sarah-
-Hello Sarah-I said in a sarcastic mood. She is an incredible person, probably with the only girl I being so close to. We have even sleep together, I mean the three of us, sometimes when its get to  late and we have a lot to study.
-Nerd, how you doing?-ask Arnold to Sarah.
-Great airhead, cool that your almost graduated!-.reply Sarah.
-Yeah, is pretty awesome that we make it until here, I am ready for the University, imagine how many pretty girls would be there waiting for a nerd to do their homeworks or a shoulder to cry after a break with her boyfriend-Arnold laugh.
-Yes, your still an ******* inmature, I cant believe you have a half scholarship-Sarah said.
-Its fine the two of you, let quick so we can make it to the cafeteria line, before all those ******* of the football team-I said.
The cafeteria was still empty, we made it before the athletes. I even said goodbye to the lady who served the food. She was nice to me, she serve me more green grapes or more French fries every Tuesday. This is one of the things I will miss the most from the school, too many memories, things that with the time I will forget, i wish to have more time here, I guess I love my school, or I am scared of growing up, and becoming an adult. We sat in the last table of the cafeteria, I wanted to observe all the room for the last time, full of people I used to know. It is funny how ironic the day gets, you desire this last day of school all your life, but when it comes, you want to fall back again to the first day of school where you start everything, where you meet your best friend of all your life, Arnold and Sarah in this case, your first breakup or your first party, or the day you kiss a girl for the first time, something it has not happened to me yet. I want it to be real and true, I know it sounds funny, but I am still a old school boy, when its related to how treats ladies. Even if I had the chance to be with one I will never do something, first of all because I respect them a lot, I always think of Georgina, I will treat girls the way I wish my sister be treated someday by a dude.
-In what your thinking Alex?-ask Sarah eating in a silly way her sandwich.
I reply-Well, to be honest I am sad-
Arnold laugh instantly after my answer-how you dare to say your sad, if you were always saying you wanted to graduated and getting the hell out of here-.
-I know I said it, but think in this, what will happen after we graduate, we wont see you often Sarah, you will have new friends, Arnold you will be busy meeting new girls and being a Casanova, and I probably will be in my dorm reading some Mangas, or listening music, or worst talking with my family.-I said.
-Don’t worry Alex it wont happen, I bet you wont do skype with your family only once every six months, I swear. Don’t take your mangas collection, you will seem yourself weird and nerd, not to offend you but its true, and yes I will be a Casanova, hope god listen you-.Arnold said in a inspirational mood.
-Thanks dude, you’re the best-I said to Arnold – and about my manga collection I don’t promess you nothing, I gues that instead of taking the all I will only take ten, and read the rest online-.
-I cant believe your sad Alex, I wish to be graduating now, I cant handle one year anymore-said Sarah.
-Well your day will come soon Sarah, your senior year will be awesome I promess-I said.
While everyone was getting ready for the last period of class I couldn’t take my eyes off Mary, beautiful face. She was wearing this beautiful white dress, with her pink Vans. All I can said she look like an angel,her breast was incredible good locking, all in her was just perfect. Sadly she was dating someone bigger than her, he picked up her always after school, all I can said is that a lady like her deserve something better, a men that respect her, take care, and treat her delicately; but that ****, dressed like a lazy men, his hair was awful, the loudness of his music was horrible, and he smoked in her face, I mean at 2 centimeters from her face. Sometimes I said to myself she deserves me, even if it was a crazy idiot idea I knew I could treat her as the lady she was and make her happy.

Bell just ring, last class period, maybe the teacher will said some last words and school stuff be decline today. I just want it to end now, I want it to be night, I want to go to any good party we were not invited but we enter anyway. Sara mom was too gentile in paying a dinner for the three of us. I guess that school will end but I feel its time to wake up a part of me I never knew it existed; the free man. ©

CHAPTER 2 SOON ...