throwing stones
into the lake
i discovered
the dog
likes to chase
the staccato splashes
as the surface
of the water
is broken
with inexpressible joy
pebbles were tossed
individually
and by handfuls
as i watched
the playful bounding
for over
half an hour

unfortunately
i had not spotted
the fisherman
further along
the water's edge
rolling eyes
and shaking head
as wave
after wave
of rippled chaos
disturbed his lure
and line
scaring away
anything
he had hoped
to catch

my innocence floated away in fourth grade
when all my classmates grew up and it petrified me.
the world has ruined my bones, has ruined the soil where i planted my first milkweed for the monarch butterflies
we have all been destroyed
we just don't realize
or maybe we do, we just shower and bask in it.  
every soul is so uncouth and the world now stings more than the crack of the whip.
termites are crawling inside our mouths
moths are being inhaled through our nostrils.
when i was nine, everything had a clear answer and i was always happy
but now that my innocence has been scraped from the bark of a crabapple tree
i am so bewildered and i can’t find any sanctuary and life is so unendurable.
restore my patient calm and timid mind
i loathe this planet and this wicked institutionalized harbor where i now have to spend my days
all because i lost my innocence in fourth grade

She said that she loved me
but didn't mean it
despite everything l did
From age to age hoped to marry you but the evil that breathed under your pretty face ruined and broke me
Only trusted you more than my own
like maybe you fell down from the stars to shine the light to the dark
You were the spirit of doom
For you were my first and will always hold a place deep in my heart because l still  love you.

Here I sit upon this cream white carpet
Salt streams down my face like a river, gently trickling over my freckled cheeks
Copper drips from my arm onto my hands, falling into the cracks of my palms
My eyes are burning but my skin is cold
My mind is racing but my heart is still
My posture weakens but I don’t let my head fall
Instead my gaze flickers to the ground
The floor a jarring hue
That lovely white carpet now streaked with crimson
What a mess I’ve made...

It seems like you're on my mind
Your eyes that glow so bright
Your lips so plump and soft
Your hands so soft and smooth

Our memories together flashes
Through my very eyes
Vivid yet so clear
Happy yet so sad

Hidden feelings ruined me
Every fiber of my being
Calls for your presence
I just miss you so **** much

Ruined what was left
Lies and lust made me lose you
Heart broken again