Haunting whispers call to me while I lay upon my bed

Thoughts of guilt I long to free, to cast from out my head

In the deepest darkness of lonely night I see a flicker turn to flashes

Ghostly memories before my sight played out from our pasts ashes

By J.N

I feel the pain and I push it away

I’ll Fill my mind with other stuff today

Yet you creep back in it’s hard to shake

Wondering what you think and feel is hard to take

I don’t know a thing, I’m in the dark

My Parental pain tears at my heart

The only thing that was sweet and pure

Lost to me through class A allure  

I’m sorry baby, you will never know

How I roll in pain and agony so

But not for me, but for precious you

A daddy should be a proud and stable statue

I let you down and destroyed my soul

I don't know who i am now, or where to go

I’ve lost my baby, my heart and my pride

The grass is never greener on the other side

I will carry on fighting and I will never stop

I will get you back I will come out on top...

Yeah right, my fate is sealed

No more cuddles, no more love I finally yield.

Take her and take her fast

And while you’re there point that gun and blast

Oh that would be so simple, such an easy way out

Just stupid thoughts from a useless lout

I’m in a bad place, a deep depression, in a fudge

Hours and days and thousands of pounds in front of a judge

To no avail, I sit back broken and bent

dead inside from the years fighting I've spent

She was my anchor, my hopes and my pride

She was also my deepest fears on an opposite tide

Now those fears have finally come true

9 months 13 days and 2 hours since I last saw you.



By J.N

Go with the flow, quit resisting change,
Hour by hour time is running out,
Stay up all night, you can sleep when you're dead,
Make lasting memories, forget regrets,  you're better without.

gently beckon
the sweet words with
slivertongue fingers
slowly, steady
'til all is ready

placate them with lemonade
and roses for the sweetly grave
snipped especial so to save
their souls' decay
as it were
in olden day

gaily affair we
singing high and merr'ly
and twirl as tiny fairies
do in mid-summer eves

sprinkled loves
and lists
of hopes and kisses
and corpse-like tenderness
it sickens

so do the sweet words sour
and I alone this hour
do turn the tables paleweak
and weep them
so they sink
into my nothing
I keep
oh so dearly

how sincerely
I do try
to **** them softly
and dry the eyes
of mourners
far and wide
but alas
they always die

the end is my domain

If only
I had
said all the
things I
wanted
instead of
what you
commanded

it wasn't worth it.

you weren't worth it.