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I am terrified to fall in love with you
Know how easily I can break
Say it is worth the risk
Don't get how much is at stake
Got fantasies frolicking in skull
Pills do not make me feel as great as you
I don't dare succumb to effects
Fairytales are too good to be true
That little voice whispering
To try again and be brave
My longing is stifled by past events
When I last let my resolve cave
Can I find strength to take the plunge?
Leap off cliff to uncharted depths below?
Without harness or safety net to catch
Unwilling to allow myself to sink that low
Help cut tethers trapping me in this place
Give anything to feel free once more
My fear holds me captive inside a prison
I can't seem to find the door
You make falling appear easy
With snap of fingers head over heels
Icy heart has been frozen for so long
Can barely remember how being alive feels
I wish I could forget sorrow
Brought by mention of a familiar name
Remind myself that you are different
Still worry it will end the same
It does not seem fair for you to give your all
Equal effort expected in return
I am simply unable to reciprocate
Love and consideration for which you yearn
I want to but I don't know how to anymore
Serena Jun 2023
isn’t that I trust people too easily
there’s nothing wrong with trusting people
I just start expecting too much in return
like trust
++++++++++++++++++
I think my problem
is that I just desire
reciprocation
++++++++++++++++++
I don’t know if I’m able to give less
and still feel happy
but if I’m always giving and giving and giving
I feel like I deserve to receive
or at the very least
like I don’t deserve to give
aesthenne Nov 2020
sometimes,
i just don't know
how to get
other people
to listen to me
in return.

i give them
all my time,
all my love,
all my attention,
yet it just
feels like
i don't get
reciprocated
the same way
enough.

i need
a listening ear
and a shoulder
to cry on, too,
you know?

please
help me.
shadow work.
Mystic Ink Plus Sep 2020
Surrending
Mind and soul
Wishing you
Gives sublime bliss
I wonder
How would it be
If you
Wish back
Everything about courtesy

Thanks
To the sacred breakthrough
Forever true
And once again
Here I'm
With a zen smile
Adherent joyfully
What could I ask for more?
Genre: Inspirational
Theme: Spectrum of compassion
Panoply Mar 2020
one day someone will love you

he will remove your shirt
his hands will move over your skin
soft, fragile fingertips, safe, warm touch
you will sigh and he will enjoy the sound and sight of you
unfurling before him

my mistakes that clog my skin
my anger a bitter, pulsing monster
my love a ****** ****,
but shouldn't it be me to rip the buttons of your shirt
let it fly to the floor
breathe in your skin
admire the view of your eyes closing as i
trailed red kisses over you

shouldn’t it be me who knew you better than he could?
and yes, i am not your typical lover
but i cannot imagine you’d want him
to be intimate with someone who could barely love you,
a tepid version of the love i would make you feel,
i’d let smiles overwhelm our intimacy,
but it will be him, not me, touching your skin like it's golden
you’ll never know that my love is heaven and skies,
and his is merely a shiny fracture of the sunlight i could give you

yet despite my desperate tries of declaring this all
you turn your head away from the sun, me, too bright
and crawl to your comfort, when you could stride to my sunlight
you will shiver in the shadows of his love
instead of basking in the heat of mine
???
Mystic Ink Plus Jun 2019
Somewhere under
The blue sky

You were
Therefore I was
You are
Therefore I am

I will
.........
.........
If you will

Every cosmic saga
Begins, and
Ends or holds forever
In between
Those lines
Genre: Abstract
Theme: Reciprocation ||Effort || Loyalty || Cosmic Love Story
Andres Apr 2019
Cortez, theyre just running through my mind
Like track and field junior year
You want to cyph before class, but i don’t think that’s for the best
Look in your ****** eyes, but you had to change into sweats
I remember that afternoon, it’s in my mind all the time
You gave me your hoodie and went home like routine
Snuck out the back door and forgot to take me

White Cortez, but they’re ***** on the sides
Dirt on your pants, but never did you mind
You’re so versatile,
how you build up your walls and know when to break them down ?
At 16, i never would’ve  guessed youd actually ditch town
A city on lights, like do you know what you’re leaving?
Persuasion and ideas, you know I’m still here waiting
Connection is rare, and with you, it was waning

Black Cortez, cleaned it up on the sides
Fade into dark Caesar, never did i mind
You smelled like axe and gelato, you probably taste so sweet
In my head, there’s a sword fight where two ends never meet
I hope you’re passing your tests, or training your chest
I still have your hoodie and i wear it here and there
I washed it so many times, but i didn’t think you’d care

SEP, where they prayed for me,
I remember you spoke to me about your goals
You told me you wanted to have a relationship with God
I told you i wanted love, i was a fraud
Spending every day of the year, you were mine
you were a physical manifestation of everything that was bound to be
A physical manifestation of everything attracted to she

Classic Cortez, lit up and you ran into class
Never expected you to fall so fast
You could roam the earth and be who you are
I just don’t want you to ever run too far
You don’t want me the same way i want you.
Mystic Ink Plus Apr 2019
He/She wakes up
Before the sun rises
With a wish
To greet
Whom he/she believes
As the closed one

"Hold on"
Said the reality
Helplessly, he/she prayed for you
“Let the peace be with you”
Always
This could be, what silence is
Genre: Observational
Theme: Reciprocation || Respecting a space, when they give their 10%, give them 20%, If they give their 100%, give your life. If they give their 0%, remember it is time to wish, stay blessed. Nothing to say.

Note, hint, how to read: If you are gentlemale, just read he, and if gentlewomen, just read she.
relahxe Mar 2019
So many poets write about their despair
Of not being loved back

"I'm so sad", they say
But at least they know what love is,
They've experienced the feeling
They've been caring,
And giving.

Do they know what I´d give
To love like they do...

"I'm heartbroken", they add
But do they know what it is
Not to have a heart that could be broken?
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