If there is purpose to life
Then it is death,
As all men die,
And some men mourn.

I ran from you as fast as I could
Bitter wormwood on my tongue
Like a violin unstrung
What is my purpose
Was it on purpose?

To think that we could stay the same
My burning cheeks, my hidden shame
I still am wordless

To stumble by thousands
The legions of failure
following your footsteps
wherever you go

The shackles were given
before you could speak
and nothing is permanent
'til your will says it so

You follow a path
of nobody's design
No blueprint, not witnesses
'Til you're up in the limelight

But you chose this, you did
When the heavens were broken
and your wings were clipped

You said, "Father, I want to see
how I will live, imprint a legacy
how I can defy the odds on me
how my weak body can cause catastrophe

Anomaly in the midst of suburban
An island that floats by the edge of a plant
a little bee with that one solo wing

Confused you ask, "Why am I thee?"

And the answer reflects back,

"Because remember, you chose to be me."

you are your life's quest. the purpose of your life is to figure yourself out. you can spend ages thinking you know yourself but life will put you through situations to let you know you don't. discovering yourself is your mission.

Alone at last
Convince myself it’s all I’ve ever wanted so that time will more easily pass

Haven’t thought for weeks
My face remains dry
Forgot what it was like to not drown every night

Then there’s the light,
Exposing reality and reawakening my fright

Just want to escape
Run away and be free forever more

Want to be alone forever,
Isolated from all
Their blades won’t pierce my skin
Nor will they rip apart my heart, I’ll spend my life waiting for his sacred call

Wish it would come soon
Life has become a burden, my shoulders can no longer ensue
Show me another way
Guide me away from where I lie broke, helpless, and empty, screaming on the floor

I know your plan is greater
Please help me to see
That you truly want the best for me and this is all apart of your vision, guide me to be free

Does riding home
Without a seatbelt
(Left unbuckled on purpose)
Count as a suicide attempt?

Asking for a friend
Who lost control of the wheel

desire keeps us busy
but does it make us happy
the way love or purpose do?
love and purpose are not desire
you cannot walk away from them
once they find you

you were born with
a gift in your bones
this world is shapeshifting
from your light alone
and it’s lining your vessel
with gooey lovetones
that are dripping pure gold
on to all you have known
you are gleaming with meaning
you are a multidimensional being
who thinks every thought
to create all you’re seeing
you are strong and redeeming
there is nothing weak about you
you pump never-ending value
feel your strength as it climbs
from your cosmic enzymes
they are dancing inside
singing out an endless love song
that “you’re right on time”