I sit beside you
A thousand miles away,
Holding your hand in my heart.
I can see your eyes
That can only look back
To where the sun was hot
And your childhood stretched
Beyond peace.

Until dreams undid you.
Your heart wasn’t big enough
For the monstrous three time loss.
But  the fourth broke you
And Hope eloped with Happiness.

Living became coping
And you, ever grateful for a nod.
In your prison you did your best,
But broken tools don’t always mend
You were wrong, it turns out -
Love isn’t always the answer.

three years ago you promised to marry me
I was only fourteen
not like that really
means anything

it never meant much to you
who was on the verge of something new
found time to spare; an hour or two
as long as all of us knew

and you
and me
and him
knew things could change like the wind

our trust was thick
but our blood, paper thin
and were all sick
still thought we could win

Austin, my city,
my concrete joy
Austin, have pity,
my sweet boy

drawn to your emerald greens,
like you are drawn to the sea,
i fell into you blissfully.

your soft-spoken speeches echoes
inside your art-covered walls,
green. it's where breaths have slowed
and quickened into pleasurable moans...
"hey can you please open the window?"

it is funny the way i've grown in fondness
of the colour green, almost like a promise
of our love - an everlasting fluoresce.
yet i still want to loudly profess

all over again,
no motive, just simply me:
i am so in love with you,
with everything i have.
always will be,
always yours.

I get angry when sad,
cries like throwing darts.
I never really aimed,
hit only by mistake.

But with you,
you made me try
with you was knifes,
your body the apple.

I wanted to cleave,
your chest in two
halfs of an apple,
split like me.

See your clockhouse,
never cared for time,
promises are old seeds,
never coming up.

Now you're wrinkled.
Fallen from the tree,
kicked around by life,
but still the same.

Apples go bad,
faster when in two.
Turn back the years,
to safe us a little time.

I sit here listening,
to words, you have yet to speak
knowing that for you,
I would lose everything to the sea

fireflies glow, with memories
sewn into my bones
remembering the way we spoke
to the wind  

promises fade; lost in translation

"Forever"  is such a foolish word,
To its promise we're held like a slave,
Too often love is vowed forever
And then hurtled toward an early grave

Without shame, "forever" deceives us,
For what it vows, it can't deliver,
Like a stream that can't float a dried leaf,
Yet, it boasts like a mighty river

Yes, "forever" is a finite word
Eternity must find amusing,
Just a carelessly shared expression
We mortals delight in abusing

"Forever"  derides reality
Even when spoken with good intent;
But only fools believe "forever,"
And soon discover its value spent

Yet, we need "forever" in our lives,
This word, uttered with bold endeavor,
This beacon that lights our darkest hours,
Can we just cast it aside?  Never!

I swear
I don't drink

but it's 2:19am and
I'm ******* wasted.



I swear
I've been clean

but please don't
pull up my sleeves.



I swear
I take my meds

but don't look
in the trashcan.



I swear
I'm fine

but do you really
still believe me?

I sent you a bouquet of words,
But you wanted flowers.

I promise they will outgrow any bud,
Into the tallest of towers.

Trauma decides
The fake smiles,
And happy lies.
The broken promises,
And tear filled eyes.
If we’re just fine,
Or if we’re not alive.