This heart should be, already,
Hurt-proof
Or one side love-proof
'*** I've learned it that way

That back you thrown at me
Walked off to the departing gate
Should have known it would be the end of this
It supposed to be die right there

But the feeling seemed lurking
They ghosted on the small side of my chest
Waited patiently there
'Till the shine of your light blasted through the flesh

I wonder what to call this feel
Should it be love or passion
Or an amusement, instead of possesion
To recall your embrace 'till my tears are all reckless

Supposed to hate you
Supposed to summoned you away
But these beats after beats,
They told me I'm dying without you

Boy, I'm dying without you
Do not ruffle my hair anymore
Do not smile at my joke anymore
Just do not, do not you dare at all

This time, do not you dare to love me anymore.

I think, I say, I loved you before -
yes. Picture it: these different
bodies, tangled under different
sheets, you & these quiet moments
before.

I think it started even before
that - right from the moment
you took breath & sobbed.
Don't you see, baby, you were born
mine.

Picture us in the light:
glory haloed, something other
than blood or water, violent
mouths & all teeth, gnawing
right to the bone.

Let me. I'm going to make this as
terrible as I know how.

I mould & ruin you with
these hands, I call you baby,
darling, mine, mine, mine;
I make you a god and nothing
less.

Show me again, my god - there is no
prayer for the way you shudder. Hold on,
wait for me,

I'm going to make you see stars, baby doll,
you're not going to wanna miss
this.

Yes I am clingy,
But you will never find someone
There for you like I will be.

Yes I am needy,
But when you need reassurance
I’ll be full of soothing words.

Yes I am jealous,
But you will never find someone
More loyal than me.

Yes I am possessive,
But you will never find someone
That values you like I do.

Yes I have flaws, I am human. Please don’t fault me for loving the way I do.

More.
I need more.
You say I'm insatiable,
But I just can't help my hunger.
More.
Give it all to me.
I want the whole world.
But my world is only you.

Swear to love only me.
Don't look at anyone else.
I only look at you.
So only look at me, okay?
Say you love me.
Only me.
You can't stray.
Your heart has to belong to me, and only me.
You're absolutely mine.
No exception.

You're obsessed with being a unit because you never feel whole
Soul sullied by the deceit of past flames
Betrayed by the boredom and apathy of she with crimson hair
Why do you care if I’m alone right now?
Why do you care if I’m fraternising with newfound friends of the male gender
Bending me till I break down in tears and ask for forgiveness for sins I did not commit
And offences with heavier burdens than they are due
Forgive me Father, for I have skinned my knees on repeated apologies until my lips are chapped and raw
Until I began to see how my God couldn’t possibly love me
Until a smile was all it took to intoxicate me into another winner-takes-all verbal brawl
Until I learnt to scrawl the ten commandments into my skull
Thou shalt not choose your new friends, for you are too naive, consult me
Thou shalt not lie with anyone other than me, I’d rather you didn’t sleep
Thou shalt not talk to men other than to exchange pleasantries, I’d rather you didn’t breathe
Thou shalt not choose career opportunities that could take you away from me
Thou shalt not
Thou shalt not
Thou shalt not
I see you broken and bleeding on a cross and you whisper, “how could you do this to me?
I died for your sins
I died for your sins
I let the light in and I died for your sins.”
Enough!
I will make my own religion
One that breathes rose petals among the barbs
Armed with the knowledge of what worship should be
And you told me I must learn to pray on my knees,
But tell me:
If you took me to the altar,
How much life would I have to sacrifice
For this all-consuming, greedy god
Of love?

Your smiles are as bright as the sun in the middle of the day

Your laughters as beautiful as the soft sound of wind chimes dancing in the breeze

Your eyes as clear as the twinkling stars that laden the black night sky

Your cheeks as red as newly bloomed crimson roses

And I chase you

Your cries are as beautiful as the howling of lone wolves under the full moon night

Your groans as deep as the guttural growl of a wild animal in the forest

Your tears as salty as the crystal clear ocean water

Your pleas as beautiful as the music of an orchestra playing through the night

And I want to own you

Your soft breathes are as still as the calm waters of a mountain spring

Your pale skin as white as the thick snow after a storm

Your voice as faint as the flutter of a butterfly's wings

Your wounds and bruises as beautiful as an art painted on an empty canvass

And without meaning to

I killed you