Not I, not me, uh uh, not true,
I own no Sharpies in black nor blue,
I’m sure I’m right, the chart was clear,
Dorian’s path to Alabama’s near.

The media cries I made it up,
I drew the lines right on the map;
How dare they say such lies so mean,
My words are gold, my conscience clean.

These folks do whine, they rant and rave,
To score some points they sorely crave,
Yet all they do time and again,
So well reminds of a cackling hen.

If there’s an expert that’s so me,
No-one quite sees the things I see,
Wind direction that’s my hat,
Great golfers know precisely that.

And if the storm went up the coast,
That too should earn me one loud toast,
I channeled prayers from all around,
To have it miss that Rebel ground.

The South’s my turf, I like those folks,
A land of dreamers full of hopes,
I have their vote, undying love,
Hence why I gave this thing a shove.

Towards New York, that den of thieves,
Spreading untruths like falling leaves,
Let them delight in Natures wrath,
Rewarding me with one great laugh.

Twenty politicians standing on a wall  
Oh what fun to see some fall,
Blabber, blabber, rue the day
They talk and talk but little say.

Yet they shout and argue too
About what I challenge you
To then repeat what they have said,
The mere thought just blows my head.

Each loves the sound of their own voice
And stand before us all by choice,
To have us judge who it shall be
With each one saying, me me me.

But like Pied Piper with his flute
The call to watch we can’t refute,
We sit and stare, comment and whine
As some just flounder past the line.

Yet for one the end is sweet
The entire cake they’ll get to eat,
Battered, bruised and mighty sore
Now almost at that White House door.

Give me Greenland, make it mine
Let me buy it just in time,
For Thanksgiving so we can
Induct these folks into our clan.

Why waste time debating ‘why’
This proposal shouldn’t fly,
Surely Denmark needs the cash
Here’s your chance if you just rush.

Putin took Crimea by force
Not a penny paid of course,
I instead will meet your price
For this island full of ice.

Think it over, but think fast,
As my offer won’t long last,
Let’s get on and make this deal,
With a pen stroke this thing seal.

Since I’ve got some Nordic genes
And as a man of copious means,
I can make this work all round
With results that will astound.

We almost bought it once before,
Why not this process now re-store;
You get the green, we the land,
On me the burgers and the band.

As children, when Lucy pulled away the football, it was cute.
Back then I could laugh about it and I didn't give a hoot.
But now that I'm fifty-one years old, it isn't cute anymore.
Yesterday, Lucy pulled away the football like the many times before.
I punched her really hard and I knocked that **** to the ground.
Here came Linus to defend his sister and I had to take him down.
I pounded on his head and I crammed his blanket up his ****.
Schroeder joined in and I knocked him out with an uppercut.
I even had to beat up Peppermint Patty.
Maybe I shouldn't have called her a fatty.
Charles Schulz made me lack self confidence when I was a kid and that wasn't good.
If I could travel back in time to beat the crap out of him, you'd better believe I would.

On the south side of kelso if it's there that ya choose to go
Well if its there ya go then ya just gotta know bout a man named tweaker joe
Now tweaker, he's a scrapper and if ya go down on his door
Don't you worry about wakin him up. He aint slept since 74
Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than a five eared dog

Now tweaker hes a scrapper and he likes his shiny things
And he likes to see what fun he has by the chaos that he brings
He got a custom BMX bike with a flashlight on the grill. He got 32 lb of brass in his pack, he got a dope bag in his shoe.

Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than s five eared dog


NOW Friday bout a week ago Tweaker scrappin cars. But at the end of the alley sat a cop named Thurman and ooh dat cop looked ******

Well he cast his light upon joe cuz Thurman had a plan
Tweaker joe learned a lesson bout messin with a future Sherriff man


Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than s five eared dog


Well the 2 men took to runnin and hes dragged down to the jail
Joey looked like a wrung out tweaker with a couple of teeth left

Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than s five eared dog

Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than s five eared dog

A little known fact
That may not scream real tact,
But the truth nonetheless
A gift I possess.

I’m a genius all-right,
My star always bright,
From birth until now
Always destined to WOW.

Some call me quite mad,
But in truth they’re just sad,
That they cannot be
A star just like me.

I’m one in a billion
America’s pillion,
The man of the hour,
The seat of all power.

Each word that I utter
Causes records to shatter,
Opponents to swoon
Crying world ending doom.

Yet the markets are up,
World leaders pile up
To knock on my door
Beseeching for more.

My supporters all know
The effect of my glow,
While the rest shall soon feel,
My art of the deal.

I’ve only just started, you’ve seen nothing yet,
I’m the one you should follow and not that great threat,
I’ll make us all rich, of that there’s no doubt
Let’s bring in the sunshine, enough of the drought.

[Enter Marco, a young Milanese courtier.]
It is he, is it not, whose honeyed barbs drip with sweet condescension, and whose kisses taint fair Bianca’s lips with similar speech? Behold, how he frames her vision to reflect his own and directs her preferences accordingly.

Fie, I have been April’s fool in believing Antonio my ally. His encouragement was as sweetmeats to a greedy child; but I have chipped a tooth on that candy-coated morsel and found its centre to be flavoured with deceit.

My cousin Bianca, whose name speaks directly to her nature, whose light once made shadows dance for joy; how extinguished she appears now. For as Antonio sparkles and splutters at her side, her brilliance flickers and fades.

Lo, how he has seeded his untruths within her honest heart. His lies smuggled like contraband, his blandishments the articles of his trade. God’s wounds! Such a purveyor of frippery and falsehood I have never met the equal of.

It is high time to confront this sneak thief in his lurking-hole and to uncloak his creeping connivance. I shall bottle my rival’s words and choose carefully the occasion for their uncorking; then pour for the crowd a rich liquor of ripe requital.

The earth's flat
I see it
so it is

The sun, not what it seems
For day in NY, night in Beijing
No, the sun's another NASA's lie
I don't see it, but I know its something else

And yes the pictures of the blue sphere
isolated alone in black empty space
taken by astronauts in Apollo 8
and the earth's curvature seen on the ISS

All lies again
No Apollo, No ISS
All lies, lies, lies

Its a disk I tell you
no one have seen it
but its true

**** me sidewase-- sidewise apparently,
i can't get a word in between these red dots and
Red snakes biting at my letters's ankles
At least when I'm pen ning I have the option to ignore that im an *******

You **** gobbling weak kneed slack jawed fool

Alright Alright let's take it easy I'm simply trying to help
No one would ever doubt your genius
But your spelling can certainly take a little
Critazisms?
Is that how you
Spelt?

Dont patronize me **** it