I’m sure I’m quite right,
I cannot be wrong,
I was always so bright.
My memory’s strong.

I well racked my brain,
Considered all facts
And with consummate strain
Followed the tracks.

The Kurds were not there
Nowhere in sight,
This I declare
Knowing I’m right.

That day on the beaches,
With fighting so strong,
As history teaches,
No Kurds came along.

Now they seek succor,
Too late by a mile,
When so far in the gutter
They needn’t me dial.

They claim we should help them,
Protect them from foes,
It’s me they condemn
For their long list of woes.

Get with the program,
Move it along
Hurry and scram
From the conquering throng.

Don’t try and convince me
I’ve made the wrong choice,
I’m sure you’ll agree
You haven’t a voice.

In my infinite wisdom
I tell you this thing,
In this here my kingdom
Will the pendulum swing;

One minute the Kurds
So cute in their garb,
The other the Turks
With their venomous barb.

The former I’m told
Are people to trust,
But I just like the bold
That don’t self-combust.

Give me a winner,
A strong man each time,
I’d rather a sinner
Who’ll follow my line.

Call me ‘cold-hearted’
But what do I care,
The process now started
Depicts my great flair.

Like a conductor
I set forth the tone,
The finest instructor
The world’s ever known.

Let’s finish this bleating
And follow my lead,
So the Kurds get a beating,
A serious nosebleed;

They’re nothing to me,
Just a festering sore,
I hereby decree
This subject’s a bore.

When she’s sick I’m so in trouble
Rocks my world, bursts my bubble,
All at once my head is spinning,
Forehead aching, hair fast thinning.

I’m not trained to handle chores,
Clean the house, go to stores,
Cook the meals, feed the kids,
My existence on the skids.

Give me patience, show me how
She won’t quickly disavow
This poor man she claimed to love
And not give him one huge shove.

I’ll do better, I’ll learn fast,
Even try to make it last,
Wash the sheets, make the bed,
Just the thought fills me with dread.

Shoulders back, chin protruding,
Smile so wide, no more brooding,
‘Yes, My Dear’ the sure answer,
Float on air like a tap dancer.

Read her cues as if an actor
Whatever challenge not a factor,
Learn each job just like a pro,
Then recount it blow by blow.

I adore this girl so much,
There’s truly nothing I won’t touch,
Clean or fix around the house
To be that perfect loving spouse.

But God I pray with all my soul
That soon you make her fully whole,
Please start now and make it fast
As for sure I won’t long last.

Now they’ve done it, this is real,
Trying hard my job to steal,
Why they’d want it no-one knows,
This frenzied pack of feeding crows.

Impeach for this, Impeach for that,
A sirens’ song that just falls flat,
They little know I planned the lot,
Goading Biden to this spot.

I may be brazen but I’m not dumb,
To simple traps I don’t succumb,
A life of deals, of double talk,
I choose the prey I want to stalk.

Let them rejoice, exchange high fives,
Parade on air flaunting their knives,
While all the time I’m hard at work,
Piling dirt on that servile clerk.

Six feet deep or even more
Is how I’ll settle this one score,
And then who’s left – two ****** fools,
The one just blabbers, the other drools.

So bring it on, I wait with glee,
For all the world this show to see,
Four more years with me on top,
All their efforts one huge flop.

My head’s in a swirl
So much on my plate
But I’ll give this a whirl,
To prove I’m so great.

No need to read up
On subjects galore,
Like tea from a cup
I can always drink more.

The world’s not so hard
To figure it out,
I keep up my guard
And my character flout.

Kim’s just a breeze,
Putin’s quite tough,
The former I squeeze,
The latter I bluff.

The Saudi’s are great
I know all their tricks,
To them I just state:
You break it, you fix.

Iran is a pain,
A hard one to solve,
It’s me that they blame,
Their sins to absolve.

But China’s the key,
The bane of my life
And just like a flea,
It’s nothing but strife.

When all’s said and done
I’m good at this game,
There isn’t a one
I can’t fully tame.

This all goes to show
I’m the man for the job,
While democrats crow
The election I rob.

Her name is Chun Li and she first appeared in Street Fighter II.
Don't make this woman angry or she'll beat the hell out of you.
Many people make a comment that embarrasses her and her face turns red.
They tell her that she's supposed to wear her bra on her chest instead of her head.
Chun Li studied Martial Arts for several years and she sure does know how to fight.
And if you have any drugs, she'll steal them because she likes to get higher than a kite.

Not I, not me, uh uh, not true,
I own no Sharpies in black nor blue,
I’m sure I’m right, the chart was clear,
Dorian’s path to Alabama’s near.

The media cries I made it up,
I drew the lines right on the map;
How dare they say such lies so mean,
My words are gold, my conscience clean.

These folks do whine, they rant and rave,
To score some points they sorely crave,
Yet all they do time and again,
So well reminds of a cackling hen.

If there’s an expert that’s so me,
No-one quite sees the things I see,
Wind direction that’s my hat,
Great golfers know precisely that.

And if the storm went up the coast,
That too should earn me one loud toast,
I channeled prayers from all around,
To have it miss that Rebel ground.

The South’s my turf, I like those folks,
A land of dreamers full of hopes,
I have their vote, undying love,
Hence why I gave this thing a shove.

Towards New York, that den of thieves,
Spreading untruths like falling leaves,
Let them delight in Natures wrath,
Rewarding me with one great laugh.

Twenty politicians standing on a wall  
Oh what fun to see some fall,
Blabber, blabber, rue the day
They talk and talk but little say.

Yet they shout and argue too
About what I challenge you
To then repeat what they have said,
The mere thought just blows my head.

Each loves the sound of their own voice
And stand before us all by choice,
To have us judge who it shall be
With each one saying, me me me.

But like Pied Piper with his flute
The call to watch we can’t refute,
We sit and stare, comment and whine
As some just flounder past the line.

Yet for one the end is sweet
The entire cake they’ll get to eat,
Battered, bruised and mighty sore
Now almost at that White House door.

Give me Greenland, make it mine
Let me buy it just in time,
For Thanksgiving so we can
Induct these folks into our clan.

Why waste time debating ‘why’
This proposal shouldn’t fly,
Surely Denmark needs the cash
Here’s your chance if you just rush.

Putin took Crimea by force
Not a penny paid of course,
I instead will meet your price
For this island full of ice.

Think it over, but think fast,
As my offer won’t long last,
Let’s get on and make this deal,
With a pen stroke this thing seal.

Since I’ve got some Nordic genes
And as a man of copious means,
I can make this work all round
With results that will astound.

We almost bought it once before,
Why not this process now re-store;
You get the green, we the land,
On me the burgers and the band.

As children, when Lucy pulled away the football, it was cute.
Back then I could laugh about it and I didn't give a hoot.
But now that I'm fifty-one years old, it isn't cute anymore.
Yesterday, Lucy pulled away the football like the many times before.
I punched her really hard and I knocked that **** to the ground.
Here came Linus to defend his sister and I had to take him down.
I pounded on his head and I crammed his blanket up his ****.
Schroeder joined in and I knocked him out with an uppercut.
I even had to beat up Peppermint Patty.
Maybe I shouldn't have called her a fatty.
Charles Schulz made me lack self confidence when I was a kid and that wasn't good.
If I could travel back in time to beat the crap out of him, you'd better believe I would.