We bought a new painting. It looks like…it looks. The little girl. The dog. They appear dripped on but look out with life — at my life. Sherry bought it. I nodded. That’s all I do. I don’t go into that room because the girl might cry. The dog might bark.

Civility for civilty's sake
Do you laugh to feel,
Work to wake?
Is there a person there real?
Or, are you too fake?

Camouflaged amongst
chaotic crowds
 
Eyes with a ****** range
Scanning
 
Target detected.
Locked in                              
 
since you weren’t
Locked up.
 
Heart rate raised. Enraged.
I check my calibre.

I Can't accept the truth baby, ignorance is bliss. I can't escape the memories of all that this is. Rather let them fade away to champagne thrills, falling off the edge of abyss.
Rather let them fall like I fell for you. Like the ashes, burning off of this cigarette.

Cause I knew it from the start.
Every second, every time. I knew you'd break my heart every time we spoke a rhyme.
I knew it'd fall apart.
Couldn't say that you were mine.
But that's just want I want to say because I know it's time.
So ask me how I feel.
I can't tell what's real.
Insist that we would fall apart until you sealed the deal.
I wish you said loved me like you said you used to feel.
and I wish youd call me baby
cause you know I'd hope it's real.

But how can I love you if I never loved myself? Like everyday I wake up wishing I was someone else.
Cause everyone I know has seen a better side of hell.

And you know I fall apart, in the darkness by myself.

I get paranoid after throwing up my fears the night before, intoxication comes easy when you’re lost in the worries of not being enough. The whispering from my nightmares become real, their faces distort in disgust when they look at me and the weight of terror eats me alive.

As the time Ticks quickly, leaving me behind
Situations I would hate always came to mind
White noise chased me even in my dreams
A parasite eating my mental stability.

I ran and ran till I was out of breath
but I knew I cant escape reality, I don't know what's coming next
I want to ask for help but there's nothing to say
the only one who could help me is myself anyways

to think I myself is the cause of this torture
many sleepless nights and fearful slumber
thoughts ran, repeatedly whispering
"you should say I love you before sleeping"

I'm concerned and confused for feeling like this
there really isn't a good reason why
I grew up healthy, and I really didn't have a problem
but I still ended up getting tied