premises of,
fools prophecy,
open my mind,
gateway to die,
from this, hence
the metapsychology,
metaphysiology,
anarchy,
and dont monetize this,
to see NOTHING, knowif it ever was
really its reality
playing tricks on me
the following message brought to you by
rfid
inside of me, im sure of it
sure as ****, spit it out
no doubts
take a knife and cut
around the flesh,
to make your demi gods smile,
the idea of me if u succeed to see,
is just belief, make believe,
fluid mental fiction
talking of the rogues,
to the street **** dereliction,
tongue in cheek,
check my weight, weightless
what is here doing in my.

Not a day in your life, war have your eyes witnessed
You lay safe, secure, in your ignorant pocket of peace
But their memories play before your eyes and their nightmare dance on your eyelids
The chop of the fan blades remind you of the planes, menacing overhead and dropping fire from the sky
The popping of kernels from the microwave wring forth panic-- Duck! They’re shooting! Duck for cover, you fool!
The book, it merely fell, but was it truly a book? Or was it the boom of an artillery cannon?
Screams of glee mingle into screams of pain. Your best friend, why don’t you reach out and save him? He’s only a few yards away. He’s in such pain, don’t let him die alone. Don’t let him die like this. Don’t let him die.
Stepping in the puddles makes your skin crawl. You remember their blackened skin, rotted flesh. You step out of the water quickly.
The open water is calm. Peaceful. Under the surface you can see them, the submarines. You move away from the shoreline.
Your friend, hugging you from behind-- it’s their hand, just their hand. There was never a knife. They are your friend. Or are they?
The memories. They’re not yours. Whose are they? Why do they tremble like tenor in your mind, ingrained in your DNA?
The blood on your hands is not there, open your eyes!
The jungle, the desert, the forest, the wasteland. You’re not there, you were never there.
The blood on your hands is not there, open your eyes!
Now the dark, it's suffocating. This is not your world of cracking rawhide and dirt. You were not there, this is not your reality. That white jacket should not make your breath hitch! That burning cross should not terrorize you so!
Now the dark, it's suffocating. This is not your world of fabric stars and canvas trucks. You were not there, this is not your reality. That red armband should not make your breath hitch! That fire should not terrorize you so!
Not a day in your life has this world brought its ugly head to look you dead in the eye and breath upon you, noxious breath liquefying your lungs and dissolving your eyes.
You are safe-- that blood on your hands is not real-- you are safe-- this is not your reality-- how it terrorizes you so!
These memories are not your own.
These memories are not your own.
These memories are not your own.
They are theirs, their memories, and you see them every time you close your eyes.
These memories are not your own.
These memories are not your own.
These memories are not your own.
They are not yours and they never will be.

Tell me that this fear is just paranoia in my mind, we're not straining, we're not struggling, we're not sinking, we're just fine
I'm not perfect my dearest, but **** have I tried, and I'll try harder but I know I'll have the same results every time
Do you want me all the ways that I am? With all the struggles and the tears and the clinging to your hand
I fear your getting further and Im left on the shore to stand, watching you in the distance with a bullet in my hand
Tell me all this worry, its just clutter in my mind, tell me not to worry that we're doing just fine
Cause Im scared to run you off and I feel Im falling deep
And Im so frightened of these thoughts that its getting hard to sleep.
All I know is that the heart wants what it desires, because of you the match inside has turned into a fire
And I feel the broken glass thats sticking from my skin, Wondering if you'll remove the pain or push it back in
My hearts frantic wondering if you feel the same, pleading and begging for more than just a saying, but to feel and to see that im not alone, with being in this love thats overwhelming
Once I told you that we didnt have a spark, but you were lighting up and I was sitting in the dark
And this fire, this blaze its wrapped in desire
Im terrified to lose you, I think I might die or, maybe disappear from all the pieces falling out, im going crazy but when i open my mouth, nothing comes out, and I cant explain to you why I just need to hold you close, why every time you leave Im scared to let you go, why these tears are building up behind my eyes, all I know is that the heart wants what it desires and it desires to be your wife
So tell me in my panic, that your words are true, tell me my dearest what I mean to you, tell me that this paranoia is all within my mind we're not struggling, we're not sinking tell me we're just fine

Injected with doses of isolation
Solitude is where I sojourn
On the edge of the cliff Melancholy
Is where my Destruction was born
Paranoia drowning through my lungs
Hatred drawn across blood-red skies
Agony rained down and into my soul
Being beaten I had found my Demise
So down the road of Misery Lane
Im dragging my feet one-by-one
The land of Peace has been burned down
Depression became the new sun

What to buy, Who to be
This is a harmless harmony
First comes love, then comes trust;
A defenseless memory in the dust
And what could I, so ever in motion,
could contribute to this ocean
that I call Earth and you call Here --
my eyes are a farmhouse portrait,
far and near.

With and without, give my E! take
Sometimes I feel like this hunger
is my and your mistake.
Withering windows give view to past,
give mention to something through
alliterative glass.
What could it be, When could it throw
my life and your life in a redundant television show,
where the laughter is canned, the love staged,
the buying and dying of products we have caged
ourselves in, in bulk, ourselves in a religion of none.

Time to blister with imagery, A delicate, bouncing light
traveling across a sea, moving towards me, moving
towards you, across the darkly shimmer of a reflector
blue, and the denim drugs and t-shirt ***,
the Fat Elvis rock in your lap, Nationalistic paranoia:
the red, white, and blue on your hat, fading, fading
among the shards of air, warm and vibrant,
Terror-Freedom clarity spittle-lip cat bath,
and my laces around the neck of the sound that skips
lids and rids of hipster brains and howling barks
from trees and boys with new noise, killer and robust
in the teenage, young adult, serial defenseless dust.

You sit in a room that's dark,
It's silent, pitch black.
in hope of hiding from the chaotic tragedy of the world around you.

A creak in the floorboards due to the natural rotting of a beam that has stood for too long, becomes a demonic presence creeping towards you.
Your mind becomes the origin of paranoia itself.

What was once your home has become a prison,
Your own mind keeps you inside the walls of the voices that you hear and illusions that you see.

******* will do that to you,
But if they try hard enough, so can people.

People can drive you to the point where you see things where there's nothing but empty space,
And to a place where not even the moments before you fall asleep are silent.

A sewn up mouth to stop you from telling their secrets, you'll never unwind the truth that you live to anyone who could help.

Isolation will destroy you, eventually.

Trying my best. Just isn't enough. Mental disease has got me all ****** up paranoia controlling my mind twists and turns make corners blind hat you say is life's intent to beat you up and leave you bent. Mistakes you make will never end so you go on living life trying to mend. Lessons learned the first time like your eye with a little squeak size of lime. But lessons learned over and over   ******* your brain like a hover now what to do live life healing you or me is that what makes me free from this disease oh please.... Help me

When paranoia takes its course I don't know whether to stay or run but how can you run from your own mind?
I try to escape from its grip but it's dragging me in and consuming me.
I can hardly breathe. I can't move yet everything is racing around me, like a vortex, the darkness beckoning my soul.
I feel my heart beating and the sweat on my skin yet nothing can draw me from this paralytic state of fear. I know it's not real. I know nothing will happen but the trepidation is the contortionist of my mind, I'm no longer in control and here I must face my inner demons.

we took turns toking,
holding the tent pole up
while the rain battered
the canvas

dawn crawled
over the great rocks;
a synovial silence
after the storm

still ******
we finally succumbed  
to sleep, for an eternal
minute  

until awakened by Huns
on horses, hoof beats ricocheting  
off the hard stones, echoing
in the canyons

worse than that thunder,
the eerie emanations riding
the backs of the staccato waves
from the beasts’ shod feet    

words flung from the riders’ tongues
slapping our ears, bedeviling our weary wits,
these time traveling tricksters, transporting    
us to a world at war

Hueco Tanks, Texas, July, 1969