I couldn’t help but notice the concern on your face
As I loosed my hands to fall from grace
Into the flames
That lapped at your feet.
You warned me this was hell, those scabs and sores
From the fire,
But not your sore hands on the boiled rung
Nor your dry eyes or crowd you’re among
Nor the dense developments that seem so dire
I let go, anyway
And scattered my life like seeds
Straight into the vacuous winds
To grow elsewhere
And fall into everything
In the face of the fire regime.
The pain was real, you saw me writhing
Through the smoke;
What you didn’t hear was my laughter
And your name through my lips
As I called up from a field of molded rye
What the forests had to tell
And that we’ve been here on various trips.
Do you forget why you hang over the fire?
Dry your tongue from nonsense and spit?
Declare your freedom from pain and it?
It’s the safest you’ve ever been
To fear without guessing and calling it sin
From ashes a forest rises not asking for repentance
For life, we thank what death has lent us.

You say you saw the void?
Look into these eyes—
You do not see
The transparency of space
A nostalgia of regression when the
The mountains seemed so much smaller in your youth—
Not in these eyes.
You don’t see the void, but the future,
Not blackness, but the future,
Not the future, but the past,
Like all of us clairvoyants.
You close your eyes to see the world
Through clean mantras
Like all of us clairvoyants.
Looking back as their gaze looks forward
Like all of us clairvoyants.
Sounding the woolen past
And eerie comfort of rest
Like all of us clairvoyants.
Reading your own future
While reading others’
Like all of us clairvoyants.
There is no such thing as darkness anymore,
A truth you know well since
All truths are certainly true and false.
Wait for the light through the window
To scan the floor;
Every person is a lighthouse
Searching wildly in the dark
And in storms, ships will land
With or without permission
And you’ll laugh alongside them
With or without provisions.
Show me your tricks,
Clairvoyant
I have already lived in the future
And am not fooled easily.

oceans are so serene and beautiful.
oceans are so black and peril.
my ocean changes frequently, i don't have much control over the waves.
some days the waves are a sparkly blue, with warm sunshine warming it through and through.
it sways so calm and lazily.
other days not so placid.
just like that the waves turn black and freezing, and the water crashes, smothering any beauty or peace in its sight.
i on my small boat, have to ride the waves no matter what,
they are mine of course.
when the sea storm rumbles and brews i whisper to myself “don't drown don't drown”
don't drown.
i refuse to let my ship sink and go down.
why you ask?
well..
because i force myself to think of how stunning the ocean is on the good days,
and
how much my ocean can withstand on a stormy day.
even if it is easier to let the water push my body under and take me,
i will not drown.

There's a tear on my cheek
It's for you
The plans we made
They didn't go through
There's a tear on my cheek
And the pain won't settle
The happiness we shared
Went to hell though
There's a tear on my cheek
That is filled with sorrow
I gave you my love
but you only borrowed
There's a tear on my cheek
That I whipe away
Becaue im a new woman
Starting today

last night,
I realized something.
I can still remember the first time I came across,
self harm.
suicide.
it was a movie.
'cyber bully'
I was 13 years old.
I remember the song,
playing during the scene
'breath me' Sia.
I remember looking up,
self harm that very night.
getting all these terrible ideas.
I'll admit,
at first I used it for attention.
but, not in the way you may think.
I craved my fathers attention.
so, I cut.
deeper and deeper.
till it became an addiction.
a release.
I felt control for once.
but,
one night my sister walked in on me,
cutting.
that was the moment I decided.
what I'm doing is wrong.
so, I tired and tried.
to over come my addiction.
I wanted to show her that,
it's alright to have rough times.
but, it's all about overcoming them.
being stronger than you may believe you are.
I did it for her.
it took a year and I half.
one step forward two steps back.
but, I did it.
and now, I'm proud.
I'm proud of who I am.
I no longer feel ashamed.
I over came my battle.
and, I've finally came to a conclusion.
that I'd like to share my story.
for all those going threw,
rough times.
to show them, things are possible.
believe in yourself.

Strength
                                                   is
                                                            gett­ing out of bed
                  knowing a part
                                                of you

                                                               ­  won't.

Smile more. The curve of your lips is beautiful
2. Your eyes are the most enchanting thing on the planet
3. Stop thinking about all the bad memories, flood your mind with the good times
4. Stop being afraid of new opportunities
    a. Stop being afraid to love people
    b. Stop being afraid of your nightmares, they can’t really hurt you
    c. Stop being afraid of the future the past isn’t any better
5. Remember to breathe once in a while
6. Write more poetry. take meaningless words and make them beautiful. Create metaphors out of the ordinary. Paint pictures with your mind.
7. Stop saying sorry all the time
8. Apologies to yourself more
9. Don't shut yourself away into darkness. Open your heart and let people in
10. Hold your head a little higher. Straighten your back a little more. Push your shoulders out a little farther. Hold yourself not as if you are small and breakable but as if you can move mountains with just your words
11. Love yourself the way you love everyone else. Love yourself the way you love strangers. Love yourself the way you love idols. Love yourself wholeheartedly and endlessly.
Love yourself the way I want to love you