~

I am
Unpoetic, for
Isolation built from self-paved
Solitude has wilted my writing's
Possibility for sweetness
And sugar-faked beauty,
But poetry is crazed
For a taste of
Vast feelings,
So here
I am-

~

Every evening in the moment where
the late night turns to early morning,
my mind becomes stuck
on the same loop of thoughts.
Over and over again they play,
just like a scratched record
that won't stop repeating itself.
The difference though,
is a record player can be stopped much easier
before the skipping drives one crazy.
These looped thoughts that haunt me
from 2am to 6am without fail,
might just drive me to the brink
of insanity.

I thought I found it, dad. You tell me my dreams are worthless, you say you have to tell me this because you love me and want what's best for me. You say I need to be realistic. This boy once told me what I loved was garbage, and it reminded me of you. I thought, this must be it.
He must love me.
When I brought you my awards and achievements, dad, you told me they were okay for a normal person but your daughter, I, could do better - these trophies weren't special enough. I'm not living up to my full potential and I never will in your eyes.
But you never let me leave without reminding me with your words that you love me endlessly, dad, so when I found a boy that was just as critical of me as you are, I felt that I had found the one.

Thick smoke lingers between us,
always being tiptoed around,
but never spoken about directly.
Never dare to speak the truth,
just pretend it's not there.
Day in and day out-
Billowing clouds float
from your eyes
into my pores,
seeping slowly,
dragging me down
with every glare.
I'm sorry to disappoint you,
but shouldn't you be used to it by now?